The One That Got Away
by HeIsTheSunAndITheMoon
Summary: It's been a few months and it seems like she's doing okay... She has a new job,starting fresh,  but if she thought finding out she was pregnant would be the biggest surprise of her life, than finding out who her boss is might actually bigger. AH
1. The One That Got Away

**It's been in my head for a while now, and I need to get it out so I can continue my other stories, I will continue this, but I don't know when I'll update again, but reviews might motivate me (;**

**Summary:**

**Rose is looking for a job and with the help of Christian, she gets a job at a very fancy law firm. She's excited to be working, again, especially now that she's pregnant.**

**She thought being pregnant was the biggest surprise, but actually finding out who her boss is... **

**Review.**

* * *

><p><em>"The One That Got Away" -Katy Perry<em>

_Summer after high school when we first met_  
><em>We make-out in your Mustang to Radiohead<em>  
><em>And on my 18th Birthday<em>  
><em>We got matching tattoos<em>

_Used to steal your parents' liquor_  
><em>And climb to the roof<em>  
><em>Talk about our future<em>  
><em>like we had a clue<em>  
><em>Never planned that one day<em>  
><em>I'd be losing you<em>

_In another life_  
><em>I would be your girl<em>  
><em>We keep all our promises<em>  
><em>Be us against the world<em>

_In another life_  
><em>I would make you stay<em>  
><em>So I don't have to say<em>  
><em>You were the one that got away<em>  
><em>The one that got away<em>

_I was June and you were my Johnny Cash_  
><em>Never one without the other We made a pact<em>  
><em>Sometimes when I miss you<em>  
><em>I put those records on (whoa)<em>

_Someone said you had your tattoo removed_  
><em>Saw you downtown singing the Blues<em>  
><em>It's time to face the music<em>  
><em>I'm no longer your muse<em>

_But in another life_  
><em>I would be your girl<em>  
><em>We keep all our promises<em>  
><em>Be us against the world<em>

_In another life_  
><em>I would make you stay<em>  
><em>So I don't have to say<em>  
><em>You were the one that got away<em>  
><em>the one that got away<em>  
><em>The one(X3)<em>  
><em>The one that got away<em>  
><em><br>__All this money can't buy me a time machine (No)_  
><em>Can't replace you with a million rings (No)<em>  
><em>I shoulda told you what you meant to me (Whoa)<em>  
><em>Cause now i pay the price<em>

_In another life_  
><em>I would be your girl<em>  
><em>We keep all our promises<em>  
><em>Be us against the world<em>

_In another life_  
><em>I would make you stay<em>  
><em>So I don't have to say<em>  
><em>You were the one that got away<em>  
><em>The one that got away<em>  
><em>The one(X3)<em>

_In another life_  
><em>I would make you stay<em>  
><em>So I don't have to say<em>  
><em>You were the one that got away<em>  
><em>The one that got away<em>

I hummed to the lyrics while I helped Christian cook dinner for the night, it seemed he wasn't happy by the song that came on, but I could care less. That was the deal, I picked the station, and I helped him cook in time for Lissa.

Even I had to admit, though, this really wasn't my type of music, but it seemed the hormones were getting to me a lot more lately.I handed the steak to Christian who huffed as the next song played. Placing my hands on the table, I felt exhausted. Listening to the song made me remember to a few months ago, when I thought I had everything.

"Are you okay?" I was startled and my head snapped upwards to meet Christian's worried, blue, eyes.

"Yeah, sorry."

He looked at me like he didn't believe me what so ever, but also didn't push me.

An hour later, I removed the black apron from my body, and sat on the chair, completely wiped out."Oh god," I whispered.

I removed my flats to reveal a pair of two very swollen feet. I saw Christian grimace, just as Lissa opened the door to the condo. She set the keys and purse on her coffee table and appear at the doorway. She looked between us and seemed to realize what had happened.

She shook her head and chastised Christian, "Christian, what did I tell you? She's pregnant, you can't make her work this much!" I rolled my eyes while Christian closed and opened his mouth, like a fish.

"I'm pregnant, not handicapped," I said annoyed by how I'd been treated for that last two months since I found out I was pregnant.

Before she answered I stood up, "Blaah. I'm tired, I'll leave you guys to your guests... See you later I guess."

I walked to my room, not really caring that my future boss was going to be eating dinner with us today, he could wait until tomorrow. No need to see your boss before I actually needed to see the man.

On my way there I rubbed the tattoo on my chest, right where my heart is, and my other hand dropped to my stomach, where a small bump was there. One more bump on the road.

I dropped on my bed, and went out, but not before I heard the disapproving yells from Lissa.

* * *

><p>"Rose! It'd be nice if you could be adult for once, and actually woke up on time! Tasha is going to be here pretty soon, dammit!" I groaned and rolled off the bed, almost falling if it weren't for the pair of arms that caught me. Startled, I opened my eyes and found myself looking at Eddie.<p>

"Geez, you really are gaining weight huh," he sat me up on my bed and I slapped his arm. He winced and walked out of the room, I shooed everyone away, too, wanting to get ready for my first day at work. I groaned, wetting my face.

I wore a black, tight on me, pencil skirt, with a tucked in peach colored shirt, it had ruffles going down half way, with a zipper, ending right after my breast bone. I wore a black blazer with golden cuffs, and a pair of peach flowered, pumps. I hoped they wouldn't kill me today.

I blow dried my hair and made it wavy. I added 3 coat of mascar, a light pink blush, and lip gloss. I walked out of my room right in time, because that was when Tasha honked.

Walking out, Lissa held my purse,giving me a kiss on my cheek, making me feel better about myself without saying anything, Christian held my keys, and Eddie held my breakfast: coffee and a doughnut. Not really healthy, but oh well.

Eddie was our other room mate and my other best friend, from high school. I walked out of the house and into Tasha's Mercedes. Tasha was Christian's aunt. She was only 5 years older than us, and she was beautiful. No joke. She had black hair and piercing blue eyes. I smiled as I slid in the car, and we drove off.

.

.

.

Tasha would only drive me for a few days until I could find my way around by myself. We drove in silence and once we reached the tall bulinding we walked inside.

These bastards had more money than they could count. Rolling my eyes we went up the elevator. I wasn't such a big fan of Tasha, she was a good lady, but... I racked my brain for a reason. Okay, so maybe I didn't have a real reason to not really like the girl. She was just too pretty. Beautiful. Maybe I was jealous. As we made our way up the elevator I had to stop myself from snorting.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Sighing, I straightened myself out, and waited for Tasha to go first. After she walked out, I did too, inhaling the smell of money... Well not money. It smelled clean, and fancy. I was so concentrated in looking around, I bumped into someone. I lost my balance thanks to the heels, and I was falling sideways... All I did was cradle my stomach.

These stupid heels are gonna kill me.

Except I was caught by a pair of strong arms, my body seemed to recognize.

_The one that got away..._


	2. I Set Fire To The Rain

**It's short but its the best I can do right now :/ I might actually add one song to each chapter, that will hopefully, add some insight as to their past ;D**

_"Set Fire To the Rain" -Adele_

_I let it fall, my heart,_  
><em>And as it fell, you rose to claim it<em>  
><em>It was dark and I was over<em>  
><em>Until you kissed my lips and you saved me<em>

_My hands, they're strong_  
><em>But my knees were far too weak<em>  
><em>To stand in your arms<em>  
><em>Without falling to your feet<em>

_But there's a side to you_  
><em>That I never knew, never knew.<em>  
><em>All the things you'd say<em>  
><em>They were never true, never true,<em>  
><em>And the games you play<em>  
><em>You would always win, always win.<em>

_But I set fire to the rain,_  
><em>Watched it pour as I touched your face,<em>  
><em>Well, it burned while I cried<em>  
><em>'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!<em>

_When I lay with you_  
><em>I could stay there<em>  
><em>Close my eyes<em>  
><em>Feel you're here forever<em>  
><em>You and me together<em>  
><em>Nothing gets better<em>

_'Cause there's a side to you_  
><em>That I never knew, never knew,<em>  
><em>All the things you'd say,<em>  
><em>They were never true, never true,<em>  
><em>And the games you play<em>  
><em>You would always win, always win.<em>

_But I set fire to the rain,_  
><em>Watched it pour as I touched your face,<em>  
><em>Well, it burned while I cried<em>  
><em>'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!<em>

_I set fire to the rain_  
><em>And I threw us into the flames<em>  
><em>Well, it felt something died<em>  
><em>'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time!<em>

_Sometimes I wake up by the door,_  
><em>That heart you caught, must be waiting for you<em>  
><em>Even now when we're already over<em>  
><em>I can't help myself from looking for you.<em>

_I set fire to the rain,_  
><em>Watch it pour as I touch your face,<em>  
><em>Well, it burned while I cried<em>  
><em>'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name<em>

_I set fire to the rain,_  
><em>And I threw us into the flames<em>  
><em>Well, it felt something died<em>  
><em>'Cause I knew that that was the last time<em>  
><em>The last time, oh, oh!<em>

_Let it burn_  
><em>Let it burn<em>  
><em>Let it burn<em>

I found myself staring into a pool of pure brown. I could feel my eyes widening, as he straightened me out, looking just as surprised as I was. What was he doing here?

"Oh god, Rose you alright?" it took me a while to realize Tasha was talking to me. I turned to look at her, and surprised to see her worried. It took me a while for it to click. She reached out, almost afraid to touch my stomach. My heart was beating like crazy and I was disoriented.

"I'm fine," I said, then corrected myself,"We're fine." I was breathless as Tasha led me to the nearest seat. With him close behind.

I focused on the blue orbs worried about me, but I could feel my presence. Almost immediately Tasha looked eyes darted to me.

"Well, I guess you two have met each other already. Dimitri meet youur new assistant, Rose meet you new boss, Dimitri Belikov."

The earth stood still. I didn't know what to do, say, my mind went blank. Fucking fantastic. Not.

I stood up to face him, sticking out my hand, not daring to look at him in the eye.

"Welcome," he said softly. "Are you alright?"

He was always so polite. I found myself melting due to his Russian accent. It brought many memor- Snap out of it, motherfucker. I almost slapped myself. Oh god, I'm such an idiot.

I remembered how to speak. "Thank you," I said matching his tone.

"Rose, if you want to go to the doctor..."

Right now I just wanted to shove down something down her fucking mouth.

"No, thank you Tasha, I'm good." She nodded and walked away to do her work.

I was left alone with him.

When I looked at him, her was already looking at me- or well, my stomach.

That was the thing about being pregnant. People saw the baby, your baby bump, not you. Almost as if you didn't exist anymore. I shifted one foot, and crossed my arms over my stomach.

"You're pregnant." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I swallowed back a 'no shit sherlock' and answered with a simple, "Yes."

His eyes found mine, and there was something there. Something I couldn't decipher. Then his eyes went blank, saying and revealing nothing.

"Follow me," he said turning around and walking away. I followed him through many cubicles with people staring after me. Some with anger, others with resentment, others with jealousy, and the rest with amazement.

My eyes found a dazzling pair of emerald eyes... they were so captivating. mesmerizing, that I'd walked straight into a wall.

"Shit," I murmured. The wall rumbled, and chuckled. _Chuckled? _I looked up and realized the wall had actually been Dimitri. Great.

"You really have to stop doing that," his voice held a bit of amusement. I snorted and replied with, "Yes, well, it's not my fault you look like a fuck-frigging wall, Comrade."

The name slipped. And once more I felt like slapping myself. My hand flew to cover my stupid mouth. How stupid could one person truly be? I felt him stiffen, and I could also feel a bunch of eyes on us.

Calling him by his old nickname had been stupid of me. It was just a reminder of what we'd had over the summer. Something that was no longer... It been carried away by the wind one night.

I felt his strong hand on my arm as he pulled me into what I believed was his office. Yes, it smelled like him. His aftershave was so strong and intoxicating it filled the whole room, but as he let me go, and I inhaled I smelled... mint. Sex. Arousal. A hint of cigars.

I had to close my eyes to calm myself down. He was no longer mine... Had he ever?

"You can't do that."

I looked up to see him in his chair. He looked... Irritated. I on the other hand was confused... Kinda. Not really.

"Do what?" I played the innocent card but his eyes said he knew I was playing him.

"Call me that anymore. You can't bring stuff from the past into the present... You can't let people know we had a fling."

_Fling._

My hand went to my stomach, as an instinct, and I hoped he wouldn't notice it. Too much.

That's all it was to him. I bit my lip to stop my hormones from taking over my mouth. I swallowed back so many words, emotions, but most of all I bit back my tears of embarrassment, along with my secret.

"Right," was all I said to him, looking away from his brown eyes. Nothing else was said, and at that moment I realized so many things.

1. Being here wouldn't be easy.

2. Being around him would bring me so many problems. Along with memories.

3. I realized why we'd gone our separate ways.

"Understand?" his voice brought me back and I looked back at him. Not backing down I answered him.

"Perfectly Mr. Belikov."

_I set fire to the rain. _


	3. Rolling In The deep

"Rolling In The Deep"-Adele

There's a fire starting in my heart  
>Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark<br>Finally I can see you crystal clear  
>Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your ship <em>[shit]<em> bare  
>See how I leave with every piece of you<br>Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart  
>Reaching a fever pitch<br>And it's bringing me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us  
>They keep me thinking that we almost had it all<br>The scars of your love, they leave me breathless  
>I can't help feeling<br>We could have had it all  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<br>Rolling in the deep  
>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br>You had my heart inside of your hand  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<br>And you played it, to the beat  
>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<p>

Baby, I have no story to be told  
>But I've heard one on you<br>And I'm gonna make your head burn  
>Think of me in the depths of your despair<br>Make a home down there  
>As mine sure won't be shared<p>

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)  
>The scars of your love remind me of us<br>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)  
>They keep me thinking that we almost had it all<br>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)  
>The scars of your love, they leave me breathless<br>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)  
>I can't help feeling<br>We could have had it all  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<br>Rolling in the deep  
>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br>You had my heart inside your hand  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<br>And you played it, to the beat  
>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br>Could have had it all  
>Rolling in the deep<br>You had my heart inside of your hand  
>But you played it, with a beating<p>

Throw your soul through every open door  
>Count your blessings to find what you look for<br>Turn my sorrow into treasured gold  
>You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown<p>

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)  
>We could have had it all<br>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)  
>We could have had it all<br>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)  
>It all, it all, it all<br>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<br>Rolling in the deep  
>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br>You had my heart inside of your hand  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<br>And you played it to the beat  
>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<p>

We could have had it all  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<br>Rolling in the deep  
>(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)<br>You had my heart inside of your hand  
>(You're gonna wish you never had met me)<p>

But you played it  
>You played it<br>You played it  
>You played it to the beat.<p>

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Taptaptaptap. Snap. _

"I knew that was going to happen."

Startled, I lifted my gaze from Dimitri with a girl, to the voice that had spoken. I met a pair of bright, green eyes, that sparkled with amusement. I raised in eyebrow, inquiring what he meant. His eyes flickered to my hand, while his finger pointed to the pencil in my hand.

Or, what had been a pencil a few seconds ago, before I broke it. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks in embarrassment. The man chuckled softly, while he straightened out and took out his hand for me to shake.

"Adrian Ivashkov, at your service," he winked as he said the last part, and I just smirked.

"Rose Hathaway," he kissed my hand, then let it down gently. His eyes, like the eyes of many others, flickered down to my stomach. He raised both eyebrows, but said nothing.

"So, what you so mad?" he asked, his eyes darting to the pencil snapped in half that laid on top of papers.

"Nothing," I answered.

That was complete bullshit. There was a fire burning in me, more like in my heart, whether it was from anger, resentment, jealousy, or pain, I didn't know. Maybe it was all.

I let my eyes wander back to Dimitri. He leaned against the wall, a huge grin on his face as he talked to the girl in front of him. Her hair was a bit lighter than me, and she had pale, gray eyes. She was tall, about 5'5, but with the heels, she stood 5 inches below Dimitri.

I saw his hand reach out to remove a strand of hair from her face, a movement he'd often done with me. Her eyes sparkled and he leaned down, softly, brushing his lips with hers.

My body filled with turmoil as I saw their exchange, I almost didn't hear Adrian speak.

"That's Avery Lazar, Dimitri's girlfriend/sex buddy/booty call, you name it," his tone held something, almost as if he knew something I didn't. I dragged my eyes to the broken pencil on my desk.

That was heart right there, broken in half, with no way to repair it. When I didn't say anything, Adrian spoke once more.

"How many months?"

Without looking up at him I muttered, "Four months."

Suddenly I felt very tired and I rested my head in my hand, when I heard Tasha speaking, "You ready to o Rose?"

I bolted out of my chair, standing up next to her within seconds. I ignored the weird look she gave me, and hurried up getting my stuff, wanting to leave before Dimitri came. I turned to say my goodbye's to Adrian, "Good-" but the words got stuck in my mouth as I felt his aftershave come closer to us. Soon enough he spoke.

"Leaving already?" I turned around to face him.

"If you don't mind of course," I said, hoping he'd let me go home. My hand was on my stomach, as it was filled with butterflies.

"No, not all. You need your rest."

I mentally fist pumped, but it was short lived.

"You know you shouldn't wear those heels. Something could happen to you or the baby," he said, with a hint of concern. I bit the inside of my cheek, reminding myself he'd be paying- or helping to pay my bills.

"I think I'm good," I said, my tone blank. He nodded his head, understanding he had no say.

"Of course," he mumbled, turning on his heel, and walked away from us.

Oh, how I longed for him to turn around, and just hold me in his arms, whispering to me in Russian as he used to. I wanted his lips to kiss mine, not hers. I wanted his body, needed it, with such fervor, I swear had it not been for the the heels, I would have ran after him.

Instead, I got to watch him walk out once more.

The tear rolled down, before I could stop it.

But I didn't wipe it away either, and I let it roll, until it fell, ironically enough, right on my heart tattoo.

* * *

><p><em>"Are you sure you want to do this?" my brown eyes met his, and I saw the uncertainty in his. I let out a small laugh.<em>

_"The question is are you?I'm all up for the excitement, Comrade," I responded smirking. He rolled his eyes, and gave one final nod._

_Two hours later we came out of the shop, a bit sore, but with huge grins on our faces. Our fingers interlocked, we walked back to his place._

_Standing in front of the mirror, I let my shirt fall, along with the strap of my black bra. It was still red, and it was throbbing, but I loved it. _

_It was a heart, medium sized. It seemed like it was cracked, in the shape of puzzle pieces, except for the single missing piece in the middle. It was a locket, and I'd put it right where my heart would be. Carefully, I traced it with my forefinger, aware that he was standing right behind me, his soft breathing on my shoulder. After a few seconds, I looked up and met his eyes through the mirror; he'd already been looking at me._

_I turned around, placing my hands on his sides, lifting his white, muscle shirt up and down. I lifted it up above his head, throwing it away, into the floor. Looking up to meet his gaze I placed my hand right above his heart. i felt it, beating fast below my hand. I looked down, removing my hand, and looking at his tattoo. It was a single key, resting right in the place his heart would be, with a chain extending all the way to his back, ending right above his shoulder blade._

_Once more I looked up to meet his eyes, and he leaned down to kiss me, with such force I almost tumbled back. He kissed my tattoo murmuring beautiful words, "So, so, so beautiful Roza. So beautiful it hurts me sometimes."_

_I knew at that moment he held my heart in his hands, but I never once stopped to question whether I held his heart in mine. _

_Instead I reached out, wanting, and needing his touch, his body, so much it was hurting me._

_I loved him so much it flowed through my veins, making my body ache... I loved him so much it hurt._

* * *

><p>"We're here," Tasha spoke softly. The car came to a halt, stopping right outside the condo. I looked sideways at Tasha and smiled.<p>

"Thank you for the ride Tasha," I said sincerely. She was starting to grown on me for some unknown reason.

I got out of the car, slipping out of the heels, walking right to the door. Reaching for my keys I unlocked it to find Lissa and Christian on the couch.

"Hey," they greeted me with a smile, I waved at them, with a smile.

"Hey."

"There's food on the microwave, if you want any," Lissa said, smiling up at me.

"Thanks Liss," I told her making my way to my room. I laid down on my bed, hugging my body to my chest.

I hadn't realized how much I'd actually missed him til today. The baby moved around a bit, complaining about food. I sniffed, refusing to cry again.

I was going to have this baby, and I was going to raise it. With or without a father.

But now without making him pay.

_The scars of your love remind me of us; they keep me thinking that we almost had it all._

* * *

><p><strong>Most of your answers will be answered as the story progresses, I just don't wana cram everything into one chapter.<strong>

**So, now, one question. I'm not a big fan of revenge, more like I don't have the imagination for it, so help? **

**As always your reviews make me happy :D**


	4. All Time Low

**All the answers to your questions will be revealed, but all in good time ;D **

* * *

><p><strong>"All Time Low"<strong>

_Praying won't do it  
>Hating won't do it<br>Drinking won't do it  
>Fighting won't knock you out<br>Of my head_

_Hiding won't hide it_  
><em>Smiling won't hide it<em>  
><em>Like I ain't tried it<em>  
><em>Everyone's tried it now<em>  
><em>And failed somehow<em>

_So when you gonna let me_  
><em>When you gonna let me out - Out<em>

_And if you know_  
><em>How do you get up from an all time low<em>  
><em>I'm in pieces<em>  
><em>Seems like peace is<em>  
><em>The only thing I'll never know<em>  
><em>How do you get up<em>  
><em>Get up<em>

_'Cos driving won't do it_  
><em>Flying won't do it<em>  
><em>Denying won't do it<em>  
><em>Crying won't drown it out<em>  
><em>What you said<em>

_When I'm standing on the yellow line_  
><em>Waiting at the station<em>  
><em>Or I'm late for work<em>  
><em>A vital presentation<em>  
><em>If you call me now girl<em>  
><em>Without reservation<em>  
><em>I would try to break through<em>

_But if you know_  
><em>How do you get up from an all time low<em>  
><em>I'm in pieces<em>  
><em>It seems like peace is<em>  
><em>The only thing I never know<em>  
><em>How do you get up from an all time low<em>  
><em>I can't even find a place to start<em>  
><em>How do I choose between my head and heart<em>  
><em>Till it ceases I never know<em>  
><em>How do you get up from an all time low<em>

_A low [repeat]_  
><em>Can you hear me<em>  
><em>A low [repeat]<em>  
><em>Can't you hear me<em>

_And if you know..._

There was a soft knock on my wall an hour after I got home. I almost ignored it, but they decided to enter anyways. It was Lissa. I was laying down in bed, my face and body facing the window, therefore I didn't see her face as she got near me.

But I did feel her body sink down at the foot of my bed. She ribbed my ankle, and I knew she was worried; she worried about me a lot. Especially since she didn't know who the father of the baby is. No one does. I chose to keep our relationship a secret and the identity of the baby too, but now...

Now, I wasn't so sure. I wanted, I needed someone to talk to. Someone who wouldn't judge me, but listen. And that was her, but as I angled my body to see her, I didn't want to burden her.

"Is something wrong?" she asked softly. I shook my head, giving her a small smile.

"Nothing Liss," I answered. She eyed me warily, I knew she didn't believe me, but she didn't want to push me either.

"Dinner time," she said with a smile. I groaned, I was too tired.

"C'mon, we've got visit."

This sparked my interest and I got up from bed and changed into something simpler. Visit probably meant Mason or her parents. I changed into a pair of khaki shorts, sandals, and a white tank top.

I walked into the living room, following the laughter that filled the room. I leaned against the door, admiring the view.

It was Dimitri.

He seemed a lot more laid back than at the office. He was wearing blue jeans with a black blazer, and gray shirt underneath. His hair was tied back in a ponytail, and as he laughed a few strands became lose, framing his face.

My hand ached so bad; I wanted to reach out and tuck the strand in, and caress his face.

"Rose!"

My eyes snapped to the direction of the voice: Adrian. I smiled at him, feeling Dimitri's gaze on me.

"Hey."

"I didn't know you lived here," he said eyeing Tasha. Tasha only shrugged as I eyed her.

"Ah, and she shows her face," Eddie appeared at the doorway of the kitchen, teasing me. I snorted.

"I work, unlike some. I get home and I'm tired," I teased him back. He shook his head.

"Can't really argue with you," he said, raising his head in a defensive manner. I laughed at him, rolling my eyes, crossing my arms above my chest.

"Nice tattoo," Adrian dragged my attention back to him. I stared at hi, confused and he pointed to my heart tattoo. I felt the heat rush to my face, and I used my long hair to hide it. I looked up to meet Dimitri's eyes as I said the next words.

"Foolish mistakes of the summer."

His face gave away nothing, and for a moment it angered me. I forced myself to breath in and out.

"We all make them," Dimitri answered before Adrian could, giving me a pointed look. I bit my lip, to stop the tears. I was blaming the hormones on this one.

"Some bigger than others," I answered, shutting him up. The house grew awkwardly silent. My mood had darken a lot more due to the surprise visit of Dimitri. I felt a bit of my old myself surfacing up.

"By all means Mr. Belikov, do continue having fun," I said darkly and with heavy sarcasm, uncrossing my arms, and displaying them, motioning to the living room.

His jaw clenched, the veins popping out. I knew I'd pissed him off by the innuendos I'd made.

The silence that filled up the room was too much. I grabbed the keys to my Volvo, along with my purse.

"I'll be back later," I said to no one in particular.

"You don't have to leave," his voice stopped me. I looked back at him, staring squarely into his brown orbs.

"I know I don't. But I want to."

I shut the door behind me, careful not to slam it.

Too hard.

I drove around for a while, stopping in front of a diner, near home. Parking right in front of it, I slammed my hands on the wheel.

I tried so hard to get over him in the last two months. But nothing seemed to work.

It didn't help that I was pregnant with his baby.

That was the first time in two months since I admitted it to myself. I looked out the window, it was dark already, and my phone had many missed calls. I'd already sent her a text message, saying the smell of the food had been too overwhelming. She seemed to buy it.

If only I could. I cold barely breathe in the same room as him. All I wanted was peace, to be over him, to be able to be happy without feeling this loneliness. The feeling that I'm missing _something._

A piece of my heart.

_How do you get up from an all time low?_; _I'm in pieces._Seems like peace is_  
><em>the only thing I'll never know.<em>_


	5. Don't You Remember?

**Okay, so I've come with the decision of making this story full or surprises you'll never see coming ;D **

* * *

><p><em>"Don't You Remember"-Adele<em>

_When will I see you again?_  
><em>You left with no goodbye,<em>  
><em>Not a single word was said,<em>  
><em>No final kiss to seal any seams,<em>  
><em>I had no idea of the state we were in,<em>

_I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,_  
><em>And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head,<em>

_But don't you remember?_  
><em>Don't you remember?<em>  
><em>The reason you loved me before,<em>  
><em>Baby, please remember me once more,<em>

_When was the last time you thought of me?_  
><em>Or have you completely erased me from your memory?<em>  
><em>I often think about where I went wrong,<em>  
><em>The more I do, the less I know,<em>

_But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,_  
><em>And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,<em>

_But don't you remember?_  
><em>Don't you remember?<em>  
><em>The reason you loved me before,<em>  
><em>Baby, please remember me once more,<em>

_Gave you space so you could breathe,_  
><em>I kept my distance so you would be free,<em>  
><em>And hoped that you'd find the missing piece,<em>  
><em>To bring you back to me,<em>

_Why don't you remember?_  
><em>Don't you remember?<em>  
><em>The reason you loved me before,<em>  
><em>Baby, please remember me once more,<em>

_When will I see you again?_

I parked outside the condo, and I could see all the lights were off, which was a great relief. I didn't want to see Lissa right now, I could only imagine what she'd say, and jut thinking about it made me groan.

I got out of the car, it was pretty late, around 11 o'clock, as I crept to the door, unlocking it and going in.

"You're late."

I jumped a mile in the air, my heart went wild, and I almost got a heart attack as Lissa turned on the lamp, looking right at me.

"Holy shit," I breathed out. She sat in the couch like waiting parents would do when their kids tried sneaking back in. My hand went over my heart, as I tried to breathe in and out, in order to calm myself and the baby too.

Lissa's green eyes sparkled with anger, and a bit of amusent. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

I nodded my head knowing it was true, but it didn't change the fact I almost got a heart attack. I took a seat in front of her, regaining my composure.

"What were you thinking Rose? He's your boss, he deserves respect Rosemarie, what you did today was absolutely disrespectful-"

I stared at her wide eyed, as my own angered was sparked. Who was she?

"Woah, woah. Hold up, you're my best friend, not my mother," I said, my anger spiking with each word I said.

"He deserves respect, he's such a kind man Rose-" I cut her off, completely pissed of by now. I stood up from seat, well I jumped up, and I stared at her, cutting her off as I said my next words.

"Yeah, and he also happens to be the father of my baby."

Her mouth hit the floor. I almost gave a victory dance, but I was just too mad. I walked past her and into my room, slamming the door.

My emotions were wild at the moment. Her words had angered me, respect? Respect for the man who tore me apart, only playing with my feelings. Fuck to the no with that.

Things had gone downhill between us in moments, I didn't understand what was going on until he was gone. I didn't know if I ever was going to see him again; I was pretty sure I wouldn't.

I'd lay in bed thinking about anything I could have done wrong, but I only did that for the first few weeks, after that... I started to grow used to it. And now that I would get to see him almost every day, I wondered, did he ever think about me? Did he ever remember any special moments between us? Did he still have his tattoo?

Did he love me?... A tear leaked out, and I wiped it away hastily.

I laid in bed, calming myself by thinking of the beautiful baby that grew inside me. It worked. I was asleep within moments.

* * *

><p>The next morning I was up before Lissa, and left right as she walked into the kitchen.<p>

I heard her calling after me, but I didn't care. I had gotten only a few hours of sleep, I had morning sickness, the baby was unsettled from last night... I was so not in the mood.

I arrived at work before Tasha and Dimitri did, right after I got there Adrian did, followed by the other two.

I was hoping they would forget about last night, but as Tasha said good morning to me, she gave me a look; the bitch knew something. I let slide, but only because Dimitri called me to his office. I sighed, and walked over, Adrian mouthing the words 'good luck'. Good luck id what I needed in my fucking life right now.

I knocked on the door which was slightly opened ajar. "Come in," he said. I fully opened the door to find him in his chair, reading some papers.

He motioned for me to take a seat in one of the black leathered chairs and I decided to go straight to the point.

"You wanted to see me?" I said slowly, reminding myself he was my boss. He looked at me and I knew this was about last night, I grinded my teeth, I knew I had to kiss ass to keep this job

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you about-"

"Look Dimitri, I mean Mr. Belikov, I'm sorry. Last night, it's just the hormones and-"

"I actually wanted to ask who the baby's father was."

That shut me up. I eyed him warily. Oh, that's what this is about. I grew nervous, and I'm pretty sure my left eye twitched a bit. He continued, face serious, but his eyes held amusement as he eyed my left eye.

That motherfucker _was_ twitching. I propped my elbow on the arm of the seat, and I covered my left eye with my hand. I cleared my throat, the heat rushing to my cheeks.

"As I was saying, I know it probably isn't any of my business, but Adrian said you were along 4 months, am I correct?"

I cleared my throat, my hands felt clammy, and my heart was beating wildly against my chest.

"Five months in a week," I said slowly, for some unknown reason, as if it mattered. Dimitri was a smart man, and I saw the wheels working in his mind. I almost shut up from my seat and ran out of there, but his next words stopped me.

"Is it mine?" I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, unable to make any sound. Luckily I was saved by the bell.

Or in this case, saved by the ring. His office phone rung, and he answered it. I leaned back against my seat, relieved. He kept talking on the phone, and he seemed to be busy, so like a ninja I got up and walked over to the door.

"Excuse me," he said onto the phone,"Rose."

Fuck.

I turned around to face him once more.

"This isn't over, we'll talk over dinner tonight. I'll have a car pick you at your place."

I sighed, knowing there was no way out of this, unless a miracle happened. I was about to leave when I spoke, knowing my words were very true.

"Oh Dimitri ?" I called out. He looked at me, covering the phone with his hand.

"This _has _been over."

* * *

><p>"Oooh, someone's got a date with the boss?" I looked up startled to meet the eyes of Celeste.<p>

"What?" I said dumbfounded.

She rolled her eyes, sitting her ass right on my table. I was about to tell her to fuck off, when she spoke again.

"The whole office knows you've got dinner with him," she said, almost mockingly. I leaned back on my chair, surprised.

"News travels fast around here, Rose, but if you think you're going to be the only one you're wrong."

I raised an eyebrow, leaning forward, actually wanting to hear what she had to say.

"Everyone knows he likes to mess around," she said, standing up and dusting her skirt,"Just ask Tasha, Avery,-"

I stopped her before she could continue, "Fuck off Celeste." She didn't seem the least bit concerned. "Just don't get your hopes up high. Everyone knows he's a god, in every sense of the word, but he's not going to take you serious."

I glared at her and she walked away. I wanted to laugh, if only she'd know; I was pregnant with his baby.

I continued doing my work, but her words never left my mind.

* * *

><p>Tasha invited to lunch at a small diner not far from the office. I'd said yes, and we'd gone off walking. I was a bit hesitant, but in the end my hunger was bigger than anything else.<p>

We walked in silence first, and it was comfortable, until she opened her mouth.

"So, you and Dimitri tonight eh?" I looked at her sideways, but she was staring straight ahead. I remembered Celeste's words, and I felt bad. He'd probably hurt her too... And many more.

"Look, I'm sorry about you and Dimitri but-"

Her laughter cut me off. We'd stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and stared at her, incredulously.

"What?" I asked stupidly. She wiped away her tears, composing herself.

"You think me and Dimitri-?" she giggled, and it was kind of pissing me off."Who told you?"

"Celeste."

"Oh. That bitch is full of shit."

I raised an eyebrow at her, and we continued walking.

"So you and Dimitri-?" I asked, trying to clear stuff out.

She shook her head,"Nope."

I stared at her, I knew she was telling the truth, but what I didn't understand was: why not? She was beautiful and he was fucking sexy, so...?

"Why not?" I asked before I could stop myself. She giggled again.

"It's a secret," she started, _we all have them,_ I thought as she continued,"Let's just put it this way," she said stopping herself and looking at me.

"What?" her next words stopped me on my tracks, while she just kept walking in front of me. A few steps ahead she stopped, realizing I hadn't kept walking with her. I was rooted to my place, staring after her, mouth agape, in the middle of the sidewalk.

She walked back to me, stopping in front of me.

"Are we going?I'm kinda hungry here, sweetheart."

I stared into her blue eyes, "Can you say that again? I'm not sure I heard you."

Her eyes sparkled with amusement, her eyebrows raised, trying not to laugh at me, probably.

"I'm a lesbian."

* * *

><p><em>Don't you remember?<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Ahh, I amaze myself ;D didn't expect that eh?<strong>

**Review (: **


	6. The Truth

_"The Truth" Good Charlotte_

_So here we are  
>We are alone<br>There's weight on your mind  
>I wanna know<br>The truth  
>If this is how you feel<br>Say it to me  
>If this was ever real<em>

_I want the truth from you_  
><em>Give me the truth even if it hurts me<em>  
><em>[x2]<em>

_I want the truth_

_So this is you_  
><em>You're talking to me<em>  
><em>You found a million ways to let me down<em>  
><em>So I'm not hurt when you're not around<em>  
><em>I was blind<em>  
><em>But now I see<em>  
><em>This is how you feel<em>  
><em>Just say it to me<em>  
><em>If this was ever real<em>

_I want the truth from you_  
><em>Give me the truth even if it hurts me<em>  
><em>[x2]<em>

_I know that this will break me_  
><em>I know that this might make me cry<em>  
><em>You gotta say what's on your mind, on your mind<em>  
><em>I know that this will hurt me<em>  
><em>And break my heart and soul inside<em>  
><em>But I don't wanna live this lie<em>

_I want the truth from you_  
><em>Give me the truth even if it hurts me<em>  
><em>I want the truth from you<em>  
><em>Give me the truth even if it hurts<em>  
><em>I don't care no more, no<em>  
><em>Just give me the truth<em>  
><em>Give me the truth<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't care no more<em>  
><em>Give me the truth<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't care no more, no<em>  
><em>Just give me the truth<em>  
><em>Give me the truth<em>  
><em>Give me the truth<em>  
><em>Give me the truth<em>  
><em>Give me the truth<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't care no more, no<em>

"You know, I can't really eat when you're staring at me," she said in between bites. I looked away blushing; I'd been caught.

"You just don't seem like... the type."

She laughed, setting her fork down. Nodding she said, "I get that a lot."

I smiled at her and kept eating, it was a comfortable silence, something I truly appreciated at this time. We ate like this, while my thoughts went to Dimitri. Pushing my plate away I looked through the window.

"What's wrong?" she asked. At first I wasn't going to answer, or I was going to lie, but looking at her... She made me want to trust her. I sighed, putting my napkin on top of the plate.

"Dimitri." One word. Simple. But much more complex. The mere mention of his name made me queasy and nervous all over again. It brought many emotions to the surface, many which I wanted to keep buried... Very deep down. My face must have shown my struggle, because Tasha put her hand over mine, giving it a slight squeeze.

"Oh sweetheart."

After a few seconds she removed her hand and leaned back on her own seat.

"He told me about you, you know."

I looked at her, surprised he would ever mention me. It gave some sort of happiness to know he talked about me, that I meant enough that he talked about me to someone. It piked up my interest and I leaned forward.

"What did he say?" I asked. She smiled, it wasn't a happy smile, but it wasn't a sad one either.

"He told me about what happened over the Summer."

"Oh," was all I said.

"You're nervous about tonight."

I squirmed in my seat.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Can I... Can I stay at your place until its time for dinner with Dimitri? I really don't want to go home."

She looked at me, she didn't question me, "Be my guest."

She grinned as we got up to leave. I was about to pay, but she paid first. "This is on me, maybe you can pay next time," she winked at me. For a moment it was awkward until I realized she was teasing me.

I rolled my eyes, giving her a slight punch on the shoulder as we left. She laughed and I joined with her.

It felt good to laugh like this, I just hoped it would last.

* * *

><p>"I have a question, I hope isn't too personal..." I trailed off, looking away from the window from her living room back to her. Her blue eyes showed interest in what I had to say.<p>

"I'll be the judge of that," she said giving me an easy-going smile.

"How did you decide, you were...-"

"Lesbian?" she asked interrupting me. Embarrassed I nodded. She shook her heels out, bringing her feet over under her ass. She leaned against the arm of the couch and she looked away from me.

I did the same she did and looked at her, waiting for her to answer.

"I dated Dimitri back in the beginning of college..." she seemed unable to continue and cleared her throat. She looked back at me, and I tried smiling at her.

"I was raped... After that I didn't trust any men, and began relying on women... And well, yeah." she gave me a small smile as I gasped and covered my mouth.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," I whispered. She laughed humorlessly.

"It's fine, it gets easier to deal with as the years go by."

I looked at her and saw how strong she was, and the thought made me smile. If it were me... If that had been me... I closed my eyes pushing disturbing images out of my hair.

"Anyways, lets talk about something else." I nodded knowing it must have been hard enough on her to tell me this, I wasn't going to push her.

"Alright."

I smiled up at her, glad I'd made a new friend.

* * *

><p>As time passed by with Tasha I grew more anxious, her eyes twinkled with amusement at seeing me like this. An hour before it was time, she dragged me to the bathroom, curling my hair. She did my make up and fixed me up.<p>

The car honked and I looked at Tasha desperately. She grinned mischievously at me, and pushed me out the door, slapping my ass on the way out.

"I'd appreciate it if you asked before you grabbed," I muttered and she laughed, and closed the door.

I got in the car, it was a black, sleek, Mercedes. It was so... Shiny. Rich people I swear, they just like to flaunt...

Even though I was considered rich too, back in high school, before I got pregnant and my mother and father disinherited me.

That was a bit too harsh if you ask me, but there wasn't much to do.

After a few minutes the car pulled over a big restaurant with nig, cursive, blue letters 'Shadow Kissed'. I raised an eyebrow at the name, but said nothing to tall driver who guided me inside. He had bronze hair and hazel eyes, and very handsome. I sighed and followed him inside. There was no one at the front and he led me through the door way into an empty room. Empty aside from small table in the middle.

I kept walking and the driver dragged the chair out and I sat in front of Dimitri. I grabbed a beige fancy napkin, shaking it.

"Wow," I breathed out. He chuckled quietly.

"I wanted privacy." he said nonchalantly. Looking at him now made me realize the real reason I was here for. It wasn't a date, it was business. All he wanted to know was whether this child was his or not. I picked up the napkin and dropped in front of my plate, leaning back on the chair.

I crossed my arms over my chest, looking straight at him, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach. He wasn't the only one who wanted answers here. I looked around the restaurant and found it completely empty.

It was just us.

We are alone.

"Don't beat around the bush, Dimitri," I said tiredly. He pursed his lips together, and he too dropped the napkin. No point in beating around the bush, or playing nice.

"Is it mine?" he asked finally, pointing at my stomach. I let one of my hands drop on top of my stomach, and I looked away from him.

"I want the truth from you."

I looked back at him, "So do I."

He said nothing, and I sat up on my chair. "Yes it's yours."

He let out a breath, whistling, and got up from the table. He began to pace around in front of me, back and forth. After a few minutes he sat back down, a look of frustration was visible in his beautiful face. I looked at his face, searching for something. Then, he turned to meet my eyes, he seemed to have made a decision.

My heart began to vibrate within my chest, wanting to just... burst out of there and leap at him.

"I want a DNA testing."

Out of all the things that crossed my mind he would say, that was most definitely not one of them. My jaw dropped, but I closed it right after.

A fire began in my body, fueled by his words, my anger ignited. I don't know what crossed my face but he quickly jumped in.

"Just to make sure. I trust and believe you, but I want to be completely sure Rose, I need you to understand that. Not to mention you could have said no, just to get back at me or..." he trailed off.

A growled erupted from chest, as I jumped up from the table, and I reached out to slap him. The sound echoed in the empty room, and I felt satisfaction at seeing I'd left a mark on his face.

I sat back down, composing myself, my anger diffusing.

"You _so_ deserved that." He nodded, understanding it just wasn't from tonight.

I sighed, brushing a hand through my hair. I nodded once, looking back at him, "Alright, if that's what it takes. But this isn't about the money."

"I know."

A moment of silence passed between us. "When?" I asked him. He thought about tomorrow, and we'll get the results 2-3 weeks after that."

There was another silent moment while I decided whether to ask him or not. Stay in silence or speak up. Keep killing myself thinking, or just be put out of my misery?

Before I could back down, I had to ask. "Dimitri?"

His brown eyes looked at me, waiting for what I had to say next. They made my body burn with a fire spreading through my veins, my heart picked up its fast rate, which I only got when I was around him or thinking about him.

I cleared my throat. "I want the truth from you," I said repeating his earlier words, "even if it hurts... Was it ever real?"

_If this was ever real;  
><em>_I want the truth from you._


	7. Sullen Girl

_"Sullen Girl"-Fiona Apple_

_Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself  
>All day - and all night<br>I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath  
>I say to myself<br>I need fuel - to take flight -  
>And there's too much going on<br>But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion  
>Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion<br>Is that why they call me a sullen girl - sullen girl  
>They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea<br>but he washed my shore and he took my pearl  
>And left and empty shell of me<br>And there's too much going on  
>But it's clam under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion<br>Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion  
>Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion<br>It's calm under the waves in the blur of my oblivion_

* * *

><p>I saw him visibly swallow and look away. When he did look back at me, there were many expressions on his face, and emotions in his brown eyes, it was hard to keep up with them. I waited, to find out the truth. Something that had been eating me alive day by day.<p>

"It was,but-" he said, finally. I breathed out in relief to know it had meant something to him, at least at one point. It was my turn to swallow and grimace at the catch.

"But what?" I asked in a whisper. I was afraid to hear what he had to say, but I had asked, it didn't matter if it hurt me, I needed to know.

"Not now."

I bit the inside of my cheek till I tasted my own blood. The rejection came through loud and clear. I nodded, grabbing my stuff, without looking at him. I started walking away from him, ignoring his pleas to turn around, and talk this out. When I did turn around, my face was expressionless, my voice was so cold I barely recognized it.

"I want you to remember Mr. Belikov, this is strictly business."

* * *

><p><em>There was a man on top of me, he kept telling me to be quiet. I moaned. not out of pleasure but of pain. I was so dizzy... I couldn't see anything. It was all blurry and dark...<em>

_But my cheeks were wet with.. Tears? Something was wrong, I cried out, but he covered my mouth with his hand. It smelled of... Mint? I swallowed, my head was truly spinning. I wasn't thinking right, was I? What was he doing... But deep down I knew... I knew... And I felt dirtier than ever...I moaned in pain, and more tears fell as he..._

_Raped me. _

I woke up screaming at the top on my lungs. The scream died out as I realized I was back in my room, I was in a tangled mess of sheets, I was breathing in and out when Lissa burst into the room.

She ran to my bed, "What is it?"

"Bad dream," I muttered, laying back down. She looked at me, concerned.

"What was it about?" she asked, running a hand through my hair and wiping my sweat away from my face.

"A friend told me she was raped back in college..." I trailed off, and she nodded in understatement.

"You dreamt about it," she said slowly. I nodded and she hugged me.

"Wasn't you baby girl, you're fine now." I nodded against her chest, feeling much better.

"Stay with me?" I asked in a whisper.

"Of course."

We leaned back on the bed, and we fell asleep, together, this time without nightmares.

* * *

><p>"Just relax Miss Hathaway, you'll be fine." I rolled my eyes as the doctor stuck the needle in my. I jumped a bit and bit my lip.<p>

"Sorry," she mumbled. Lissa squeezed my shoulder, and the doctor pulled out. She stared at it, and snapped her gloves out.

"Alright, you're done. Take it easy now," she said gently, and gave me the go. I dressed and walked out to find Dimitri already waiting for us, he looked at us and nodded.

"Done?" he asked me.

"Yeah," I said wobbling to a chair.

"Give me a sec," I whispered. Lissa sat next to me, rubbing my back. God I felt... Violated.

A male nurse came out, looking from me to Dimitri, "Your results will be ready in three weeks." He walked back into the room, and we all started to walk out of the laboratory. I held unto Lissa for support as she walked me to her Audi.

"See you at the office," he said, standing there for a while. He pursed his lips, wanting to say something but not being able. Finally he just walked away.

"Coward," I muttered slamming the door.

* * *

><p><strong> 3 weeks later <strong>

It was just me and Dimitri in the office, Tasha, Lissa, Adrian, Christian, and Eddie were outside waiting for us. I was a bit hesitant about having all of them here, but in the end I'd given in.

I tapped my foot, nervous, for some unknown reason. After a few minutes of waiting, Dimitri got done of my tapping, and put a firm hand on my thigh. I gasped at his touch, it was skin to skin, and I felt a heat go through my body. I swallowed and stopped tapping.

I groaned, tired of waiting. I heard him chuckle and turned to glare at him. He shrugged it off, "Are your feet hurting?" he asked surprising me.

"No thanks," I whispered looking away from him, remembering to a week ago.

_Adrian had ordered me to go take some papers to Dimitri, I obliged, even if I had to walk across the office to get there. On my way, I met up with Tasha and she decided to walk with me._

_As we walked, we deserved weird looks, and dirty ones too, especially from Celeste. I glared at them, and they backed down, as I remembered what Tasha had said; many of the women in the office looked down on her, and once she turned lesbian, she lost all her friends, especially her girl friends, her only friends being Dimitri, Adrian, and now me. I squeezed her arm, giving her a smile of reassurance._

_I also remembered she said her perpetrator had been caught and sentenced. Which led me to my dream, which I ignored. She dropped off at Dimitri's office door, and kept walking.I knocked on the door lightly, and heard him tell me to come in._

_Things were still kinda awkward, but we were both glad none of what had happened had leaked out into the office. That would just be fatal. _

_I walked in, kind of limping, my feet were killing me. I would really have to stop wearing these heals, they were killing me. I handed him the papers and he looked at me weirdly._

"_Everything alright?" I nodded and he gave me a look._

_"My feet are swollen and they hurt," I complained, finally. He chuckled standing up, and walking around the desk._

_"Sit," he ordered. Confused, I followed orders. He bent down on his heels, and took off my heels as I raised an eyebrow, "What are you-Ahh."_

_He was giving me a massage, and boy was it amazing. He had me moaning from pleasure. My feet instantly felt better, with his wonderful hands running them. I felt like I was in heaven._

_He kept chuckling, which led to a real laugh. Something I hand't heard in a while. After a few minutes he stopped, standing up,"Better."_

_I grinned up at him,"Much." _

_"Good," he said, standing up. I got up with his help, putting back on my heels, while he gave me a disapproving look, which I pointedly ignored. Smirking I started walking to the door. With the door slightly opened, I turned my head to look at him. I'm sure my eyes held amusement, and my smirk was teasing. I looked down at his bulging pants, pointing, and spoke._

_"You might want to fix that."_

The doctor interrupted my memory, and dragged me back to reality. I looked up expectantly, sighing, just wanting to get out of here.

And so the doctor began reading the results... I heard Dimitri curse, and my heart swelled.

I walked out of the office in a daze, I stumbled a bit, so I leaned against the wall, and slid down it. I tried blinking the tears away, but they fell. I was so confused and I'm sure it showed on my face. I rubbed and looked at my stomach.

In the distance I was aware of our friends wanting to know what had happened. I looked up from my stomach, not meeting anyone's eyes, but focusing on the far off distance, painting hanging on the wall.. My voice quivered as I spoke, and I felt all their gazes on me, especiallys Dimitri's.

I slightly banged my head against the wall, and I spoke.

"It's not his."

* * *

><p><strong>Oooooh, didn't expect that either huh? I was gonna wait this out but... I didn't think it was fair for Dimitri to get his hopes up too high, and this is an important piece of the story ;D this might be the last BIG surprise in a while... Maybe. Until you find out who is the real baby's father :D<strong>

**By the way, Rose is 19, 20 once she has the baby. I might include some background on them on the next chapter ^.^**


	8. Superman

**Lol Don't kill me :D This is going to be short cause my moms hella pissed at me . **

_"Superman"-Taylor Swift_

_Tall, dark and supermanly_  
><em>He puts papers in his briefcase and drives away<em>  
><em>To save the world or go to work<em>  
><em>It's the same thing to me<em>  
><em>He's got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition<em>  
><em>I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him<em>  
><em>I hang on every word you say, yay<em>  
><em>And you smile and say, "How are you? "<em>  
><em>I say, "Just fine"<em>  
><em>I always forget to tell you, I love you, I love you... forever<em>

_I watch superman fly away_  
><em>You've got a busy day today<em>  
><em>Go save the world, I'll be around<em>  
><em>I watch superman fly away<em>  
><em>Come back I'll be with you someday<em>  
><em>I'll be right here on the ground<em>  
><em>When you come back down<em>

_Tall, dark and beautiful_  
><em>He's complicated, he's irrational<em>  
><em>But I hope someday you'll take me away and save the day, yeah<em>  
><em>Something in his deep brown eyes has me sayin'<em>  
><em>He's not all bad like his reputation<em>  
><em>And I can't hear one single word they say<em>  
><em>And you'll leave, got places to be and I'll be OK<em>  
><em>I always forget to tell you I love you, I loved you from the very first day<em>

_I watch superman fly away_  
><em>You've got a busy day today<em>  
><em>Go save the world I'll be around<em>  
><em>I watch superman fly away<em>  
><em>Come back I'll be with you someday<em>  
><em>I'll be right here on the ground<em>  
><em>When you come back down<em>

_And I watch you fly around the world_  
><em>And I hope you don't save some other girl<em>  
><em>Don't forget, don't forget about me<em>  
><em>I'm far away but I never let you go<em>  
><em>I'm lovestruck and looking out the window<em>  
><em>Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be<em>  
><em>Right here wishing the flowers were from you<em>  
><em>Wishing the card was from you<em>  
><em>Wishing the call was from you<em>

_'Cause I loved you from the very first day_

_I watch superman fly away_  
><em>You've got a busy day today<em>  
><em>Go save the world, I'll be around...<em>  
><em>Forever and ever here<em>  
><em>I watch superman fly away<em>  
><em>I swear I'll be with you someday<em>  
><em>I'll be right here on the ground<em>  
><em>When you come back down<em>

_La, la, la, la, la, la_  
><em>La, la, la, la, la, la<em>

_When you come back down_

_"The results came back negative. is not the father." _His words kept coming back, over and over again. I freely let the tears fall, how was this even possible? I didn't hear anyone as I got up, with great effort, and began walking. I walked outside the office, and decided to walk down the street. It was kind of a mistake, the streets were busy with people that didn't give a fuck about who they bumped into, or what they did. It seemed my pregnancy couldn't even get me out this one.

I walked and I walked, ignoring everything and everyone. I probably looked a hobo, not that what I was wearing was wrong. It was a long sleeved pink shirt, leggings, and flats. I pulled down on my sleeves, god was I confused.

The only man I'd ever been with was Dimitri, so the only other way was...

No. I cast the thought away, I'd know had I been raped, unless... I had to stop, this was maddening. I ran a hand through my hair to find it...wet. I looked up at the sky and realized it'd been raining for a while now. And that's when it happened.

I was pushed against the wall, not roughly, but it still scared me. My scream was muffled by strong, firm, hands.

"Shh,just me," he whispered. I sagged against his arms, relieved it was just him.

But it didn't stop the tears from falling down. I hugged him closer to me and he held me, held me like I was his only chance of survival. Pulling away from him I spoke.

"Oh god, I swear-" He hugged me back to himself, shushing me.

"I know, I know," his Russian accent was so much more pronounced, with emotion. He looked at me, and those brown eyes... Oh god. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew it was true. When I spoke my voice was a plea for this not to be true.

"I was raped, wasn't I?"

He only nodded before he hugged me back to him.

"It's alright Roza," he whispered.

Only we both knew it wasn't.

* * *

><p><strong>One year ago. <strong>

_"Ouch! Hey, would you look-" my voice drifted away as I saw who'd I'd bumped into. He was sexy hot. He was the kind of hot that could seriously stop traffic._

_"Oh, I'm sorry," there was a hint of an accent, that sounded Russian. I raised an eyebrow at him. He was wearing jeans, black shirt, and blazer. I pursed my lips as he looked down at me with those wonderful brown eyes._

_"It's quite alright," I said exasperated, I was running late. Fuck. "Excuse me, I'm late," I told him and went around him. I started jogging, when I felt someone was looking at me, turning around I saw it was him._

_I cursed at myself for not getting his name or number. I was going to kill Lissa, I swear._

_Right at that moment, my phone rung, and I knew it was her. I took it out, and answered._

_"I'm going," I growled._

_"Hurry, dammit," she said and hung up. I cursed at the damn costume ball that was being held in my school. I made it to her house in record time, and we got ready._

_I was wearing a white, strapless, dress, a tiara with my hair in curls, framing my face. I wore very light make-up, that made my eyes lighter than necessary._

_Walking out the door, Lissa and I got in the limo. Lissa was going with Christian, and I was going alone. Shocker. Considering how many guys I had at my feet._

_We arrived at the school and we walked to the gym. Once we were in I gasped, it honestly didn't look a school gym. It was so fancy and... beautiful. _

_I was about to put my mask on when I ran straight into a wall._

_"Motherfucker," I cursed, stepping away._

_"Bad language," someone said. My head snapped upwards to meet a pair of chocolate brown orbs. Eyes I could drown in. My stomach did a small flip._

_"We really have to start meeting like this," he said smiling. I laughed._

_"Indeed," I said, "Rose Hathaway."_

_He took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles, sending a shiver through my body._

_"Dimitri Belikov."_

* * *

><p><em><em>Tall, dark and beautiful; h<em>_e's complicated, he's irrational. __But I hope someday you'll take me away and save the day.__

* * *

><p><em><em>**Review! :D**

**Sorry, there wasn't much action, aside from the sweet moment between them(:**


	9. Heavy In You Arms

**Oh man, The song I used for this chapter is beautiful, and I hope you understand why I chose this song, and you will finally know a few things about her past, things as to why their present is as it is now (:**

_"Heavy In Your Arms"-Florence & The Machine._

_I was a heavy heart to carry_  
><em>My beloved was weighed down<em>  
><em>My arms around his neck<em>  
><em>My fingers laced a crown<em>  
><em>I was a heavy heart to carry<em>  
><em>My feet dragged across the ground<em>  
><em>And he took me to the river<em>  
><em>Where he slowly let me drown<em>

_My love has concrete feet, my love's an iron ball_  
><em>Wrapped around your ankles, over the waterfall<em>

_I'm so heavy. Heavy. Heavy in your arms_  
><em>I'm so heavy. Heavy. Heavy in your arms<em>

_And is it worth the wait,_  
><em>All this killing time?<em>  
><em>Are you strong enough to stand,<em>  
><em>Protecting both your heart and mine?<em>  
><em>Who is the betrayer<em>  
><em>Who's the killer in the crowd?<em>  
><em>The one who creeps in corridors<em>  
><em>And doesn't make a sound<em>

_My love has concrete feet, my love is an iron ball_  
><em>Wrapped around your ankles, over the waterfall<em>  
><em>My love has concrete feet, my love is an iron ball<em>  
><em>Wrapped around your ankles, over the waterfall<em>

_I'm so heavy. Heavy. Heavy in your arms_  
><em>I'm so heavy. Heavy. So heavy in your arms<em>

_This will be my last confession_  
><em>"I love you" never felt like any blessing<em>  
><em>Whisper it like it's a secret<em>  
><em>Uttered to condemn the one who hears it<em>  
><em>With a heavy heart<em>

_Heavy. Heavy. Heavy. I'm so heavy in your arms_  
><em>(I'm so heavy) Heavy, heavy. I'm so heavy in your arms<em>  
><em>(I'm so heavy) Heavy, heavy. I'm so heavy in your arms<em>  
><em>(I'm so heavy) Heavy, heavy. I'm so heavy in your arms<em>

_I was a heavy heart to carry_  
><em>My beloved was weighed down<em>  
><em>My arms around his neck<em>  
><em>My fingers laced a crown<em>  
><em>I was a heavy heart to carry<em>  
><em>But he never let me down<em>  
><em>When he held me in his arms<em>  
><em>My feet never touched the ground<em>

_I'm so heavy_  
><em>Heavy in your arms<em>

**Five Months Ago**

"Are_ you serious?" I asked in disbelief and in a small voice. He looked away from me, turning his back on me, on more than one way today._

_"Answer me!" I screamed. The wind rustled my hair, whipping it back and forth, making my heart cold as ice. He didn't turn around, his posture was stiff, and he was facing the sunset. It would have been beautiful, absolutely beautiful, if it didn't mark the end of us._

_"Yes," his voice was carried to me through the wind, barely reaching my ears, before it blew away and vanished. "You need to deal with your problems Roza, I can't be there for this... I just-"_

_"Don't love me enough," my voice held no emotion to it. He turned around, his hair whipping, and his glare on me._

_"Don't say that."_

_I analyzed his words, thoroughly. He was right. My baggage was too much, I held the death of a friend in my own hands, not only his, but another one's too. I swallowed looking away from him. He needed space, after all the other person'd death on my hands was his best friend. I was going to give him space if that's what he wanted._

_Scratch that. I would give him his space, but there was turning back. My heart froze at that moment, it turned cold, and I realized he was absolutely right._

_Although both of us wealthy, I came from a small place, he was from the big city; two different worlds. Not to mention he was older than me, by 6 years. Looking back to meet his eyes, I spoke from the very bottom of what was left of my heart._

_"You need space right?" I asked, he nodded solemnly. I could see all the pain behind his eyes. I nodded._

_"I'll give you space alright. But from this moment on, Dimitri Belikov, forget I exist." _

_His eyes burned with the pain I was causing him, I hid my pain away very well. He flinched away from my words and the cold breeze, throwing one last glance at me, he walked away from me._

_I watched him leave, knowing very well we were both at fault here. The moment he disappeared from my sight I fell down on my knees. I cried out for everything I had lost in one month. I cried for Mason, I cried for Ivan... And I cried for Dimitri._

_There was an immense emptiness in my chest, a whole in the very same place my heart was... And it was bleeding._

_Bleeding out emotions._

_And I didn't know when it would stop. _

_The pain or the bleeding. _

* * *

><p>He hugged me closer to him, and I knew how wrong this was... But it felt so right. I knew I was hurting, and him being here only made it worse. Especially knowing he was only here as a <em>friend. <em>

Silent tears streamed down my face, the room felt heavy with grief and sorrow, only making it all worse.

He pulled me to his lap and rocked me back and forth, murmuring reassuring words in my ear.

I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud or in my mind.. what had happened to me. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew it was true.

The nightmare from the other night had been real, that had been me, not Tasha. A sob racked my body, bringing new tears to my eyes, my sorrow the only sound in the room.

All this crying was bad for the baby, but I needed to grief. I needed to cry, to let all my emotions lose, I needed to make myself understand...

I'd been drugged and I'd been raped. How, I didn't know. Who, not an idea in my mind. I racked through my brain, but came up empty. I cried harder, feeling so damn weak, letting all of my grief on to the surface. Even the ones from months ago...

No words were said from anyone, no words were needed. Tasha and Lissa had already gone to the police station to report it, but as long as I didn't remember anything, no charges could be made. I also realized when it was I was raped, when it made sense. Prom night...

The night both Mason and Ivan had died. I'd suppressed their deaths to the very bottom of my mind. They had both dropped me off at my house, where I had been drinking, so they stayed with me. All I remember was turning on candles in the bathroom and leaving my hair straightener on. When I woke up, I was at a hospital, not burned, but safe... And now I knew. No one had really questioned why I was found outside my house, in the woods, I said I'd fallen asleep. And that had been that.

How I wish things had gone different... The cops should have investigated more... More questions arose, but my mind was too full.

"...He was released, do you think-?" Tasha whispered next to us.

"Shhh. We'll talk about this later. She might hear us."

I wanted to ask, but I felt so tired. All my life energy had been sucked out of me, all too quick. I felt so disgusted, especially now knowing my baby was...

I sat up from his lap, getting up I ran to the bathroom, a hand over my mouth. Sinking down on the floor next to the toilet, I emptied my contents, which wasn't much. I'd tried hard to eat, but I felt so sad, and empty in the inside. I leaned against the wall, aware of the audience I had. Lissa and Tasha sat down on one side of me, while Dimitri put his arm around me.

I didn't want to be here. Especially in his arms. It was too much of a reminder of the first time.

In his arms I felt secure, but it brought many memories, making the wound open up again, and bleed even more than before.

I felt so heavy...

_I'm so heavy. Heavy. Heavy in your arms._

* * *

><p><strong>Hope things are more clear now, any questions? Review! (:<strong>


	10. Run Away

**Umm, I've never said who the rapist was... Review(:**

* * *

><p><em>"(I'm Gonna) Run Away"- Joan Jett.<em>

_I can't take it  
>This is gettin' silly<br>Can't find me no tranquility  
>Anymore, I just can't get through to You<em>

_We're fakin' it, it's time to admit it_  
><em>You make me feel like an idiot<em>  
><em>All the time, there's nothin' left for me to do<em>  
><em>No, so<em>

_I'm gonna run away_  
><em>I'm never comin' back to you<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah, I'm gonna run away<em>  
><em>I'm never comin' back to you<em>

_We were friends but now you're the enemy_  
><em>Don't need this when there's a remedy<em>  
><em>It's the end<em>  
><em>Play your trick on someone new<em>

_I'm gonna run away_  
><em>I'm never comin' back to you<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah, I'm gonna run away<em>  
><em>I'm never comin' back to you<em>

_Ain't life strange, how people change_  
><em>You were all I wanted once<em>  
><em>Now you're just a pain, pain<em>

_I'm gonna run away_  
><em>I'm never comin' back to you<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah, I'm gonna run away<em>  
><em>I'm never comin' back to you<em>

I felt void, empty, sad, dirty, angry. Mostly angry with myself. How could I let this happen? All of this. Mason's death, Ivan's death, my rape...

I shoved the mac and cheese into my mouth, not bothering to really taste. i just wanted them to leave me alone. I wanted to think, I needed to think, by myself.

Their comfort only made it worse. It made me feel like I had no power over my life, as if I needed them at all times, by my sides, which I did, but still. I needed my independence now more than ever.

But I also wanted justice for what had done to me.

I needed to find myself all over again, something I couldn't do here with them. With him.

Oh, how my heart ached when he was around. He was so close yet so far away from my reach... My fingertips could reach out to him, but I couldn't really touch him. My lips were so close to his, but I couldn't reach out to meet his.

There was a barrier between us.

A barrier formed when he decided to walk away and I didn't fight for him. Had I fought for him, I know he would have stayed. There weren't many things he was able to deny me.

Funny how things changed.

* * *

><p>"Who raped you?" my voice was trembling, but I needed to know. I'd heard her talking to Dimitri, and I had a fewwlin git was this.<p>

She dropped the magazine on her lap and looked up at me. Her blue eyes were like flames, they stared at, with the same pain my eyes held.

"It was an old friend of Dimitri."

She picked her magazine up, but I wasn't done. "Did he say why he did it?" She sighed and dropped the magazine on her lap again.

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

She searched my eyes, "Is there a point to this?"

I rolled my eyes,"Of course, otherwise I wouldn't be asking."

"He said he did it to get back a Dimitri," she sighed looking at me.

"He was released recently though right?" I asked her, inching closer to her.

She bit her lip and nodded.

"Enough with the questions."

I jumped on my seat as Dimitri made his way to us. I narrowed my eyes at him, glaring at his intrusion.

"Why?" I asked him. He crossed his arms across his chest.

"It's none of your business Roza," he said, flatly. I took in one deep breath. I should have known better that maybe things could get better between us. It was times at this that he really was a pain. He felt like he could rule over my life, when he couldn't. There was no more making me feel insignificant of any sorts. I was done, it was time to truly take a step forward, and stand up for myself.

"It is if it's the same guy who raped me."

The room was completely silent. You could hear a pin drop even in the kitchen. Tasha and Dimitri sucked in a breath. They looked at each other than back at me.

"I see I'm right," I whispered, dropping my arms.

"What's his name?"

"Roza I don't-"

"Oh no Dimitri. Don't call me that and do not think for a moment you can tell what I can and can't do. Don't think you know better than, and don't hide this from me!" I saw him clench his jaw and Tasha shooed him away.

"His name is... Ambrose."

* * *

><p><em>His eyes resembled the color of amber. The smell of mint was fresh and strong, his hands were cold, but I couldn't make any features. It was all so blurry... What had I taken before this? I tried remembering but it was all fuzzy...<em>

_I couldn't remember anything aside from leaving Ivan and Mason downstairs. I knew they'd come looking for me soon. Ugh, he was so heavy..._

_I looked to my left, the window was open, the breeze was coming in. i didn't understand any of this. I tried screaming out for Ivan... Ivan would always know what to do._

_He was so smart, so kind, so gentle, and ever so caring. When that didn't work, I called out for Mason. Mason who was like my brother, my twin people would say due to our personalities._

_"What are you doing," I mumbled. I groaned in pain at the roughness of what was going on. _

_"Hey what are you doing! Get off her!" I looked to my door and I could barely make out it was Ivan._

_"Ivan," I moaned. Suddenly, I could breathe again, and I felt myself floating in the air. I giggled only it sounded as a gurgle. I was set down on something cold and raspy. Behind him I could see the flames consuming the house. Some sort of sound escaped from my mouth._

_"I'm going to get Mason, kay?" he whispered, i could barely nod my head. I grabbed his shirt, a feeble attempt, I knew._

_"Please don't leave," I whispered. I couldn't make out his face but i could smell his expensive cologne._

_"I love you, I'll be back, I promise."_

_Only he hadn't._

_The next morning I'd woken up on a hospital bed, safe, and of them had made it out..._

_Only me._

_Yet nobody was sure how, they said I must have been sleeping when one of the buys had brought me outside, secured me, then gotten back. _

_I'd forgotten everything about that horrible night._

I woke, the scream dying in my throat before it came out. There were strands of hairs sticking to my forehead, and I was breathing fast. _His eyes... They were the color of amber. _I shook my head, clearing my mind. Lissa stirred next to me, and I smiled at her protectiveness.

I breathed in and out, calming myself down for my sake and the baby's. I laid back in my bed, making a very big decision.

Lissa out an arm around me, and I was content in the arms of my best friend.

_I'm gonna run away; __I'm never comin' back to you._

* * *

><p><strong>Ugh I didn't know Ambrose's full name... Review(:<strong>


	11. Cry

_"Cry"-Rihanna _

_I'm not the type to get my heart broken_  
><em>I'm not the type to get upset and cry<em>  
><em>'cause I never leave my heart open<em>  
><em>Never hurts me to say goodbye<em>  
><em>Relationships don't get deep to me<em>  
><em>Never got the whole in love thing<em>  
><em>And someone can say they love me truly<em>  
><em>But at the time it didn't mean a thing<em>

_My mind is gone, I'm spinning round_  
><em>And deep inside, my tears I'll drown<em>  
><em>I'm losing grip, what's happening<em>  
><em>I stray from love, this is how I feel<em>  
><em>This time was different<em>  
><em>Felt like, I was just a victim<em>  
><em>And it cut me like a knife<em>  
><em>When you walked out of my life<em>  
><em>Now I'm, in this condition<em>  
><em>And I've, got all the symptoms<em>  
><em>Of a girl with a broken heart<em>  
><em>But no matter what you'll never see me cry<em>

_Did it happen when we first kissed?_  
><em>'cause it's hurting me to let it go<em>  
><em>Maybe 'cause we spent so much time<em>  
><em>And I know that it's no more<em>  
><em>I should've never let you hold me baby<em>  
><em>Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart<em>  
><em>I didn't give to you on purpose<em>  
><em>Can't figure out how you stole my heart<em>

_How did I get here with you, I'll never know?_  
><em>I never meant to let it get so, personal<em>  
><em>And after all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you<em>  
><em>I'm broken heart and I can't let you know<em>  
><em>And I won't let it show<em>  
><em>You won't see me cry<em>

_This time was different_  
><em>Felt like, I was just a victim<em>  
><em>And it cut me like a knife<em>  
><em>When you walked out of my life<em>  
><em>Now I'm, in this condition<em>  
><em>And I've, got all the symptoms<em>  
><em>Of a girl with a broken heart<em>  
><em>But no matter what you'll never see me cry<em>

_All my life..._

**3 Days later **

Oh man.

So, maybe running away wasn't the smartest thing to do, especially this far along in my pregnancy. I bit my nail and looked around. I was seriously in the middle of no where...

What was I doing?

I reached for my phone ready to call anyone, even Dimitri to come pick me up... problem is I don't know where I'm at.

Fuck.

"Are you lost?"

I jumped at the sound of a girl's voice. I hadn't even noticed a car had parked off to the side of the road. I looked at the girl. She was blonde, her hair in ringlets, and she drove a corvette. She seemed safe. Part of it was because she reminded me of Lissa, but Lissa was an angel, while this girl was more of a porcelain doll.

"Name's Mia, hop in baby girl," she said. I hesitated, but sighed and opened the door.

The first thing I noticed was that she was pregnant. And about ready to burst at any minute. She started the car, and drove away, while I saw her roll her eyes.

"Don't worry, there's a town not so far from here."

I nodded, and leaned on the seat.

"So.. what are you doing out here?" she asked, turning the radio down.

"I ran away," I muttered. She laughed, amused, by this.

"How old are you?"

"19."

There was a moment of silence in the car, that I enjoyed.

"Do you know what you're going to do once you get into town."

Trying hard not to cry, I shook my head. She reached out, her hand resting on mine. "Don't worry. My pops gonna welcome you."

"Thank you," was all I could say. I wiped away the tear that had escaped and checked my phone. One hundred missed calls, 20 voice mails, and fifty text mssgs. I sighed and put my phone back in my bag.

"Since you don't wanna talk, we'll listen to music. Rest, you look tired."

* * *

><p>"Mia! Sweetie! You're back!" Awkwardly, I smiled, and stood in the front porch. Mia jumped in her dad's arms, who hugged her tightly. He was in his late 30's, his blonde hair was turning silver, very slowly. And he had Mia's eyes.<p>

"Daddy, this is Rose, a friend," she said, a hue grin on her face. For the first time in a while someone looked at _me _and not my bulging stomach. He smiled, warmly up at me, before extending his hand toward me.

"Rose," I said.

"Jake," he said in return. He motioned us to go inside.

"I bet you girl's are hungry and tired, Mia, go upstairs and show her you girls' room, while I finish up dinner."

We went up the stairs into a very pink room, with two beds in the middle. I frowned at the pinkish stuff. I set my stuff down, looking around, my eyes resting on her, finally.

"I don't know why you did this, but thank you Mia."

Her smiled was soft, and her hand rubbed her swelling stomach. "Because I can see the pain in your eyes Rose, besides you're pregnant too. We could be preggo buddies," she giggled and winked. I rolled my eyes at her, but laughed too.

She walked to the doorway and stopped. "Tonight we'll share stories."

* * *

><p>It was after dinner, it was dark outside, but warm, and we were outside in the porch, rocking in the big swing. We were eating ice cream, a reward Jake had given us because we'd eaten our veggies. The Nevada air was very weird to say the least.<p>

"I went to live with my aunt after my mother's death a year ago. I made bad decisions, one of them was doing drugs, and sleeping around... I slept with my boyfriend Aaron, who once he found out I was pregnant, left me."

"So why did you decide to come back now?" I asked.

She sighed and licked off her ice cream. "I finally realized how much I missed and need my dad."

I felt jealousy course through me. She had a parent, I didn't. I didn't have anyone. I bit my lip and didn't say anything.

"What about you?" she asked.

I took in one deep breath. I didn't know how to start.

I was used to breaking hearts, I was used to guys saying they loved me all the time, but it never meant anything. Not until he showed up. I didn't know how I'd end up here, when it was that I'd been hooked. But when he walked out of my life...

"Hello ladies."

Mia and I looked up.

It was a man, mid-twenties, and very handsome. He had golden eyes, with bronze hair, muscular, tanned, and tall. He gave us a warm smile, his eyes drifting to my eyes to my stomach. I shifted uncomfortably, while he looked away, to Mia.

"Your dad here?"

"I'll go call him," she aid, standing up, and walking back inside.

Feeling the need to introduce myself, I reached out my hand, "Rose."

He smiled, showing a perfect set of white teeth, reaching out for my hand.

"Ambrose Kozlov."

* * *

><p><em>This time was different,<em> _f__elt like I was just a victim_, _a__nd it cut me like a knife_ _w__hen you walked out of my life._

* * *

><p><strong>Credits for Ambrose's surname goes to deliciouse (: lol.<strong>

**Do you think Rose will recognize him? Or will she think it's just another Ambrose...? **

**And sorry for not updating yesterday, I got lazy xD also sorry if it's crappy, I'm really tired :/**

******Review(:******


	12. Heart

**If you're still confused I think you should re-read the story: Rose was drugged, and she was drunk, which is why she didn't remember anything what so ever not to mention the smoke from the fire; Dimitri didn't know she was raped, not until Rose admitted it to herself.**

**Sorry, Fanfiction has been acting up . if you have any problem once more reading a chapter, please mssg me, I'll try to keep track of my e-mails on my phone.**

**Review(: **

_"Heart"-Pretty Reckless_

_Never wanted to feel_  
><em>Never wanted you to steal my heart<em>  
><em>Never wanted you to know<em>  
><em>Never wanted to show I'm weak<em>

_I'm falling all over myself_  
><em>Trying to be someone else<em>  
><em>I wish you would dare to walk me home<em>  
><em>So I wouldn't have to feel alone<em>

_Always wanted to be_  
><em>Always wanted you to see my heart<em>  
><em>Always wanted your love<em>  
><em>Always wanted but never was<em>

_I"m falling all over myself_  
><em>Trying to be someone else<em>  
><em>I wish you would dare to walk me home<em>  
><em>So I wouldn't have to feel alone<em>  
><em>I'm falling all over myself<em>  
><em>Dying to be someone else<em>  
><em>I wish you would dare to walk me home<em>  
><em>I don't wanna fight the world alone<em>

_Never told you before_  
><em>Never loved you more<em>

_I'm falling all over myself_  
><em>Trying to be someone else<em>  
><em>I wish you would dare to walk me home<em>  
><em>So I wouldn't have to feel alone<em>

_I'm falling all over myself_  
><em>Dying to be someone else<em>  
><em>I wish you were dead and walk me home<em>  
><em>I don't wanna fight the world alone<em>  
><em>I don't wanna fight the world alone<em>  
><em>I don't wanna fight the world alone<em>

_All alone_

_Ambrose..._ It took every ounce in my body not to scream, gasp, cry out, or just make a face. I swallowed, looking into his eyes, hoping to be able to remember something, _anything, _but came up blank.

Blank.

"Ah! Ambrose, son, what are you doing here?" Jake said coming out of the house, Mia not so far behind him. She came to stand next to me, as Ambrose and Jake hugged.

"Oh you know Jake, just came back from Africa," he answered, pulling away from him.

"Can you believe this kid? He was doing charity work in _Africa,_ isn't that right?" Jake asked him.

"Yes, I was working with kids," the smile never left his face.

"How long where you there for?" I asked, my voice trembling a bit.

"Over 6 months."

I didn't say anything after that, Jake led Ambrose into the house, and Mia led me back to the swing.

"Tell me your story Rose."

I waited a few seconds, struggling with myself. Mia rested her head against my shoulder, and I got my strength to speak.

"A year ago, I met Dimitri. I'd just turned 18, it was a school dance, and he was there, to visit a cousin of his. He was 24 at the time, so he was a chaperon... we danced that night, I figured I would never get to see him again... And I didn't." I stopped to take in a deep breath.

"What happened next?"

"A few months before graduation I met Ivan. He was handsome, and he was so kind. We became quick friends despite the age difference. He was really funny, sarcastic, he reminded me of my best friend Mason. Soon enough, all three of us become friends. There was a campfire, graduation was near, and we were all excited. Ivan had said he was going to invite a friend... It was Dimitri. We started talking, it was the beginning of May, and he made me happy... I didn't want him to though."

"Why not?"

"I knew what it meant, saying those three words... It was a promise, a promise I was sure was going to get broken. I never wanted him to hold my heart, never wanted to love him, but I did. And i thought he did too.

"What happened?"

"I'd had a fight with Dimitri, it was small, but he had to go back to the city, and that night we'd had sex, we used a condom of course. He left Ivan to take care of me... I went to a party, where I got totally wasted. Ivan and Mason took me home, and they'd said they would stay over until next morning, only they didn't," I whispered the last part, wiping away the few tears that had escaped.

"There was a fire, they got stuck inside, and never made it out. Ivan took me outside, he saved me. A few weeks after that Dimitri and I went our separate ways, it was his choice, but I knew he was right."

_And he took me to the river_  
><em>Where he slowly let me drown. <em>

"Two days later I found out I was pregnant. My parents kicked me out and my best friend Lissa took me in to her house, in L.A. I started working for a law firm, my boss being Dimitri..."

"Wow... Is he the dad?"

I shook my head,"No. I was raped the night of Mason's and Ivan's death."

There was a moment of complete silence, until Mia pulled me into her arms. "I'm so sorry! Oh god, you're so strong Rose! If..."

She couldn't complete the sentence, and we just stayed there in the swing, going back in forth, feeling the coll night air on us. She didn't say anything, she didn't comfort me in any way, she just played with my hair, and let me cry.

She let me pour my soul out to her, and didn't say anything else. She listened to me cry for hours, while Jake and Ambrose caught up inside the house.

That night I felt free.

* * *

><p>I bit on my nail as I kept looking at my phone that was on the pink comforter. Ambrose had taken Mia to the clinic to get checked out, and tomorrow I'd go with them, and I'd find out, finally, the sex of the baby. I had wanted to keep it a secret, but I couldn't anymore.<p>

I'd checked out Ambrose with Mia, and Mia seemed to trust him. He'd been here in Nevada for a three years and he seemed safe. After all there were many Ambroses out there...

"Rose, sweetheart are you okay?" I jumped up, to face Jake leaning against the door frame.

"Yeah, just deciding whether to call or not," I said sheepishly, looking back down at the phone.

"Call him, and then come down for lunch, Mia and Ambrose should be here in a few," he said, winking at me, and leaving.

I stared blankly after him. Should I call him? I bit my nail again, and looked at the phone. I picked it up, and pressed on his name. I took in a deep breath, and called it.

Only to hang up after a second.

"Call you stupid ass," I muttered. I did call. The phone rung, five time... 6... And went to voice mail. I was going to hang up, but I just took in one deep breath.

"Hey... I just- I just wanted you to know I'm safe. i found a place to live, and I like it here. I want you to tell Lissa I'll send her e-mails, I just thought I should call you. I knew you wouldn't answer, either way... I miss you, and I miss the others. Do me a favor? In my room, in the closet there's a black box, there's a letter for you, and a CD. Those songs, the helped me out a lot, and they, just listen to them... I wanted you to know you don't have to act anymore, it's okay, we're not together anymore, and it doesn't matter, the baby isn't yours. I want you to know though, I never wanted you to hold my heart, I never wanted to love you as much as I do-"

I stopped, I didn't know what else to say, and the machine cut me off. I hung up and threw the phone on the bed, feeling breathless, so I sat down. I wiped away the tears, and I made a silent promise to myself.

I'll never cry again.

_Always wanted your love_... _Always wanted but never was._


	13. Sorry

**DPOV**

_"Sorry"- Buckcherry_

_Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away_  
><em>I missed you and things weren't the same<em>  
><em><br>Cause everything inside it never comes out right_  
><em>And when I see you cry it makes me want to die<em>  
><em><br>I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you_  
><em>And I know I can't take it back<em>  
><em>I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round<em>  
><em>And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:<em>

_This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days_  
><em>You get older and blame turns to shame<br>_  
><em>Every single day I think about how we came all this way<em>  
><em>The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right<em>

_Oh yeah sorry!_

_"Hey... I just- I just wanted you to know I'm safe. i found a place to live, and I like it here. I want you to tell Lissa I'll send her e-mails, I just thought I should call you. I knew you wouldn't answer, either way... I miss you, and I miss the others. Do me a favor? In my room, in the closet there's a black box, there's a letter for you, and a CD. Those songs, the helped me out a lot, and they, just listen to them... I wanted you to know you don't have to act anymore, it's okay, we're not together anymore, and it doesn't matter, the baby isn't yours. I want you to know though, I never wanted you to hold my heart, I never wanted to love you as much as I do-"_

The machine cut her off, although I was pretty sure she was done. This was 10th time I listened to her voice mail. The black box she was talking about was in front of me. After the first time I'd heard the voice mail I'd gone to Lissa's, I could see she felt much better, being able to hear her voice, and know she was safe. She wasn't the only one. We all were, even Tasha.

Taking in a deep breath, I opened the box. There were pictures, tons of them, all of them of us, during the three months that we were together. I felt the tears prickling my eyes, and let them fall.

There was CD with my name in bold letters, which I put in my stereo, and listened.

With trembling fingers I picked up the letter, it had a date, from the day she had disappeared. I opened it up, and read it.

_Dear Dimitri,_

_I don't know where to start... I mean I could start from the very beginning, the first day I saw you, which seems so long ago, doesn't it? But that's not it. I've spent days, wondering when it was that you captured my heart in your hands. Our first kiss? First glance at each other? First time we made love? When was it Dimitri?_

_But now I know Dimitri, do you? It was the first time you held me in your arms in the campfire, the night we first kissed... You always had me. I have so much to say, but I can't bring myself to say it._

_I loved you, and you did too, but it wasn't enough, it never was. I don't know where it was that everything went downhill, because it wasn't after Ivan's death, it was way before that._

_I've tried so hard to take you out of my heart, out of my mind, but I can't. I fail every time._

_I wish I knew what it was like for you._

_The only reason I even thought of keeping the baby was because it was yours... I needed a piece of you, except now it isn't. And I don't know what to do, or say, or think... I think, it's good the baby isn't yours, that way I can finally get over you._

_It's for the best, I know that now. As much as I love you, I don't think we're meant for eachother, we've both got too much baggage, and I want time on my own. I want to move on._

_I don't want to love you anymore. I'm holding on to something that is not real, and will never be real._

_It's too much for me, I want you, and I need you, but you're not good for me. You're hot one moment, and then you're cold. Hot N' Cold from Katy Perry, that's most definitely your song._

_I'm not running away, I'm walking away. Walking away from you, from everyone, I'll be back one day, when I've done dealing with my problems._

_God, it hurts so much, I don't want to love you, but I do, and it's my biggest pain._

_Love,_

_Roza._

There's stains on the letter now, it's short, but it hurts me, every word of it, because I know she's right. I want to go after her, but I won't. She deserves better, I just wish I'd fought for her, I wish I had her with me right now.

I pushed her away, and now I'm paying for it. I miss her more than anything, I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in this world. And god forgive me, but I think I may love her more than my mother.

I want to say many things to her, I want to say I'm sorry for hurting her, for acting the way I did, for thinking I had forever with her, for thinking she would come back to me.

I think it's best if we both move on.

Oh, Roza, I've never stopped loving you, I thought I had, but not anymore. I'm not over you. Never have.

_Cause everything inside it never comes out right_  
><em>And when I see you cry it makes me want to die.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Oh man, so much more to come, so many stuff going down! :D review(:<strong>


	14. Skyscraper

**Okay from now on, I'm focusing on Rose's life, and nothing else. No more Dimitri for a while :D I've decided to go straight ahead, and just skip time, there will be flashbacks about the time I'm skipping over, but nothing important happens. And after this chapter, things will start going a bit slow. **

_"Skyscraper"-Demi Lovato_

_Skies are crying  
>I am watching<br>Catching teardrops in my hands  
>Only silence as it's ending, like we never had a chance<br>Do you have to, make me feel like there is nothing left of me?_

_You can take everything I have_  
><em>You can break everything I am<em>  
><em>Like i'm made of glass<em>  
><em>Like i'm made of paper<em>  
><em>Go on and try to tear me down<em>  
><em>I will be rising from the ground<em>  
><em>Like a skyscraper!<em>  
><em>Like a skyscraper!<em>

_As the smoke clears_  
><em>I awaken, and untangle you from me<em>  
><em>Would it make you, feel better to watch me while I bleed?<em>  
><em>All my windows, still are broken<em>  
><em>But I'm standing on my feet<em>

_You can take everything I have  
>You can break everything I am<strong><br>**  
>Like I'm made of glass<br>Like I'm made of paper  
>Go on and try to tear me down<br>I will be rising from the ground  
>Like a skyscraper!<br>Like a skyscraper!_

_Go run, run, run_  
><em>I'm gonna stay right here<em>  
><em>Watch you disappear, yeah<em>  
><em>Go run, run, run<em>  
><em>Yeah it's a long way down<em>  
><em>But I am closer to the clouds up here<em>

_You can take everything I have_  
><em>You can break everything I am<em>  
><em>Like I'm made of glass<em>  
><em>Like I'm made of paper, Oh<em>  
><em>Go on and try to tear me down<em>  
><em>I will be rising from the ground<em>

_Like a skyscraper!_  
><em>Like a skyscraper!<em>

_Like a skyscraper!_  
><em>Like a skyscraper!<em>

**Three months later. **

"You know you could help me," I said bitterly. Ambrose looked up, and laughed.

"Helped with what exactly?" I growled.

"This," I said pointing to Ivan. His eyebrows creased, "That's your baby, not mine."

I raised one eyebrow and flipped him off, which he took as something good. Jerk. I changed Ivan's diaper, in record time, and actually did it right. I did a mental fist pump, and did my little happy dance. Not caring Ambrose was here. I could hear his laughter and Mia's.

Mia had just given birth to a a very big, and healthy baby girl. She looked everything like Mia, meaning she was absolutely beautiful.

My baby, fortunately, looked everything like me, except for the eyes, the eyes were... amber. I had so many questions, but it seemed my mind did not want to remember... Not now at least.

"Let's go for a walk Rose," Ambrose said, giving me one of his best smiles. "Are you going to help me," I said. He rolled his eyes at me.

"I guess, if you're begging that much."

I narrowed my eyes at him, and smacked his arm. "Rose, you can leave Ivan here, take some time for yourself."

I looked at Jake. I trusted him, it was just I couldn't bare not being without my son, he was a part of me, the only good thing in my life...

"He'll be safe," Jake promised.

"C'mon Rose, you need some time for yourself," Ambrose encouraged me. Mia smiled at me, and winked.

"Fine," I said.

They all grinned at me, happy I was letting lose, at least a bit. I linked my arm with Ambrose's. He had truly gained my trust, showing me he was a really kind, and an amazing person.

_"You're very kind," I said, surprised. I heard him chuckled. _

_"I've heard that before," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. _

_I moaned, and took pleasure in what he was doing. His gentle hands rubbed my swollen feet, taking me heaven. My feet had been hurting a lot more, I was do in a few weeks, and they had grown. The doctor said I should walk a lot, and I was, but it was killing me. Killing my feet and back. Every bone in my body was hurting, I guess carrying a baby around isn't as easy._

_I was still trying to get used to the Nevada air, and being pregnant wasn't helping. Goodness gracious, it made everything worse, if possible. Not bad, like oh it hurts, not it was like the kinda bad, where you just wanna die. When I told this to Ambrose he laughed, to my expense._

_"You're such a drama queen."_

_"You know, you try carrying a baby around, in the burning heat, in a desert, with feet the size of an elephant's foot."_

_He winced, "It's not that bad."_

_I rolled my eyes, "Despite the huge thing in the way, I can feel the size of my feet this moment."_

_"Don't worry too much, you're still beautiful," he murmured, then looked up at me, surprised... almost as if he shouldn't have said anything. I saw the turmoil going on in his head through his eyes._

_For a moment, I feared him, not because of what he was doing, but because of what his amber eyes were hiding._

"I'm leaving."

Those two words brought me back from the past, and into the present. Startled, I looked up at him. We were in town, walking around the shops.

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm leaving," his voice was strained.

"Where to?"

He didn't answer me.

"A few years ago in high school, in Russia, I had two best friends. We were together at all time, we even went to the same college together, here in America, one of them betrayed me."

"What did he do?"

"After high school, a year into college, he slept with the girl I was going to marry. It hurt me. It felt like he'd stabbed me right in the heart, Rose. I had trusted him so much, with my life, I had loved him like my own blood... And he took her from me. I acted like I didn't know, and I went after his girlfriend."

I had a really bad feeling about this, I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach.

"I promised myself I would hurt him, the way he had, I promised myself I would never let him be happy with any other woman."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

We stopped, a few steps away from town, where we were alone. I waited for his response, but all he did was look at me. He gripped my arms, not quite hurting me, but still making my arm sting. I stared into eyes, and as much as I didn't want to. I remembered.

"I said I would go after every woman he ever showed love to, and I promised myself I would hurt them the way he had hurt me, and I would leave them and use them, the way he had with the woman I loved..."

Oh god, please no. No, no, no... I hear the distant thunder, and I know a storm in coming, and it sounds heavy. Soon enough, the rain starts pouring, we're getting drenched, but it doesn't matter. None of it does, only what my heart is feeling.

_Skies are crying  
>I am watching<br>Catching teardrops in my hands.  
><em>

"Then you came into the picture..." I could see the battle going inside his head, and I could see the pain in his eyes, his eyes glazed, and I felt a tiny drop of salty water fall on my arm. It's different from the rest, because this one is warm, and I can feel the pain of it once it lands on my skin, and the burden it used to carry.

"I just didn't think I would ever have to hurt _you._"

_As the smoke clears, __I awaken, and untangle you from me._


	15. No More Tears

**dIMITRI-Love: I will not be including Dimitri for a while :P, I think from now on I will try to take things slow, and Rose needs to heal, and blah, blah, and well we still don't know what Ambrose is going to do to her... well you don't, I do :p lol, but I appreciate your enthusiasm(:**

**Nellyrose 1994: Wow, calm down girl... lol, your doubts will be cleared in this chapter(: **

**vampzgirl: lol, I won't do any of that, I tend to stray away from that plot a bit(: **

**kyoko minion: answer will be revealed by Dimitri himself ;p **

**deliciouse: I love you, that's all I can say xD your reviews always make my day... every day.**

**ItaSaku1: what do you mean by "This chapter was something else,"? :o **

**Okay, so I'll try to answer to your responses more often :p and I just want to let you know: I UPDATE EVERY SINGLE DAY... Unless I get too lazy, which tends to happen, so then I skip a day, but that's it(: **

**Review and make my day dudeeeesssss xD ahh, too much Sprite for me 0.o**

**Also, for the song I took out a few parts, which would have made the song more romantic, and that is not what I wanted, It's hard to find a song that fits each chapter, but its even harder to find about rape; I'd found one, but I would have taken more parts out... Umm, yeah none of these songs are mine -.-**

* * *

><p><em>"No More Tears"<em>

_Got my damn mascara running down my face_  
><em>Crying buckets in the bathroom of this place<em>  
><em>In the mirror, asking how could this be<em>  
><em>Suddenly the mirror started talking back at me<em>  
><em>It said "what the hell you doing?<em>  
><em>baby wipe your face, girl those tears are special, don't let em go to waste.<em>  
><em>pull yourself together cause we gon be okay,<em>  
><em>walk right up to him &amp; that chick and this is what you say"<em>

_You ain't worth my tears_  
><em>You ain't worth my time<em>  
><em>There ain't no love here<em>  
><em>And I'm gon be just fine<em>  
><em>You ain't worth my tears<em>  
><em>On to something new<em>  
><em>No more tears for you<em>  
><em>No more tears for you<em>  
><em>There'll be no more tears for you<em>

_And I'm alright, fix my hair make sure my makeup's reapplied_  
><em>Regain my composure get back in my stride<em>  
><em>Said to the mirror, your new start is right outside<em>  
><em>Walk up out the bathroom<em>_  
><em>_When I walk up, such a scared look on his face (hey)_  
><em>And I just smile &amp; this is what I say<em>

_You ain't worth my tears_  
><em>You ain't worth my time<em>  
><em>There ain't no love here<em>  
><em>And I'm gon be just fine<em>  
><em>You ain't worth my tears<em>_  
><em>_No more tears for you_  
><em>No more tears for you<em>  
><em>There'll be no more tears for you<em>

_I can not believe that I shed tears for you__  
><em>

_I wasted to many on you and now there's no more tears for you_  
><em>Said there's no more tears for you<em>  
><em>Said there's no more tears for you<em>  
><em>Said there's no more tears for you<em>  
><em>No more tears, there'll be no more tears for you.<em>

I smashed the mirror with my fist, with so much anger, regret, and pain. The mirror shattered into a million little pieces in front of me. The sink was covered in blood and my tears which were darken with my mascara and eyeliner. There was a piece of mirror still there, and I looked at a piece of my reflection.

How could this happen to me?

_Suddenly the mirror started talking back at me_  
><em>It said "What the hell you doing?<em>  
><em>baby wipe your face, girl those tears are special, don't let em go to waste.<em>  
><em>pull yourself together cause we gon be okay,<em>  
><em>walk right up to him &amp; that chick and this is what you say. <em>

I wiped away my tears with my good hand, and stared at my trembling hands, I had to go back out there before Mia came back. I couldn't let anyone see me this weak. Not anymore.

Fixing myself as best as possible, I walked out of the bathroom, and back outside, I walked into the area he was being held in. Upon entering the room, he looked up, he was handcuffed to the chair, and his eyes showed remorse. With my body shaking with god knows what... anger, pain, resentment, relief, or just exhaustion, and ignoring everyone's protests, I got near him.

I stood in front of him, and said what I hadn't been able to before, "This isn't love Ambrose, what you feel for me... Is just some sick, twisted, feeling Ambrose. What you did to me... I can't even begin to explain how truly fucked it is, how truly fucked up you are in the mind... And to think that you were so close to me, touching me, acting as my friend... To think I believed you, I trusted you, is just sickening. You're not worth my tears, not anymore. And you knew all along, was it a game to you? And my son, and no, he's not your son..." I couldn't even finish. I backed away from him.

I went up to an officer, "This is your fault. And you say the system is just, you let a rapist go, wasn't there enough prove? I hope you all feel bad for this, because in the end it's all your fault; you say the system is fair and what not, what he got away, and what he did to me afterwards shows otherwise."

I spat out the words with so much venom the officer backed away from me. I felt Mia's small, but firm hand on me. When I looked down at her I saw her eyes were full with anguish.

"There will be another trial, he'll be sentenced, and he will spend the rest of his miserable life rotting, let's go," her voice was an angered whisper, but they were comforting enough. I let her lead me out of the police station.

It was still raining, harder than before. Resting my head on the window, I let Mia drive back home to Jake and the babies. Closing my eyes, I tried hard not to cry, but the tears still fell, colliding with the water droplets on the other side of the window.

_"I just didn't think I would ever have to hurt _you_."_

_I'd backed away from, as he took the same amount forward. I looked around, I was pretty sure I could make it back into town in time. He followed my gaze._

_"Please, just listen to me?"_

_I'd turned to look at him, finally realizing he truly was crazy. "Listen to you? Are you listening to yourself? You raped me, _raped_ me, and-and-and, oh god, Tasha, too. Who else? You're sick! Did you follow me here?" the thought brought me to my knees. I fell on the dirt, completely drenched in the rain and my own tears. _

_"No! NO! I planned on staying away from you, Tasha, Dimitri, so I came back here... And you were here. Pregnant. I was planning that you being here, well I don't know, I thought I could hurt you, but you were pregnant... And then you said it was the rapist'... It's sick, but I thought we could be together, but I know we can't. I can't lie to you, not anymore." He shut his eyes tight, and I could see his own tears. He stuck his hands inside his pockets, and opened them to look at me. His amber eyes, the eyes of my son, stared back at me. How could I have been so stupid._

_"Why not?" I whispered. _

_"I love you."_

_Enraged, I stood up, and I slapped him... Well, I meant to slap him, but instead I punched him. I heard a sickening crack, and my hand started to burn. I let it drop to my side._

_"How can you say that?"_

_"All these months together, seeing you pregnant with my baby, our baby, seeing you go through labor, seeing you cry, seeing how strong and beautiful you are..." this time I did slap him._

_"Shut up! Shut up!" I screamed, covering my ears with my hands, closing my eyes, shutting myself from the world. Thunder cracked in the sky, silencing his voice, and mine. After the thunder was over, it was silent, aside from the rain. But there was a distant siren..._

_I saw a few cars coming this way and I looked back at him. When the men stepped out, I looked at Ambrose._

_"What are you doing?" I whispered._

_"I'm so sorry, you'll never know how much," his eyes were red, and puffy, "I'm doing this for you."_

_"Doing what?"_

_"Turning myself in." _

* * *

><p>"We're here," Mia whispered, turning the car off. I smiled at her, my face clear from tears, and stepped out of the car. I ran to Jake; he took me into his arms, hugging me to him.<p>

"I'm so sorry,I didn't know-" I cut him off.

"Doesn't matter anymore, he's going to jail now," I whispered to him.

Jake had become some sort of a father figure in the past few months, earning my trust, and dare I say, my love for him. I smiled at him, and at Mia.

We walked up the door, and I turned around to look up at the sky. The rain had stopped, and the sun was out, shining bright in our faces. I felt a smile crept up my face.

I was free. Completely free.

And I was going to start brand new.

__No more tears.__


	16. Big Girls Don't Cry

**Can you do and sunayna4sho a favor? Read her new story and raise awareness for that son of a biscuit(: thank youuu. **

_**"Big Girls Don't Cry"**_

_Da Da Da Da_  
><em>The smell of your skin lingers on me now<em>  
><em>You're probably on your flight back to your home town<em>  
><em>I need some shelter of my own protection baby<em>  
><em>To be with myself and center, clarity<em>  
><em>Peace, Serenity<em>

_I hope you know, I hope you know_  
><em>That this has nothing to do with you<em>  
><em>It's personal, myself and I<em>  
><em>We've got some straightenin' out to do<em>  
><em>And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket<em>  
><em>But I've got to get a move on with my life<em>  
><em>It's time to be a big girl now<em>  
><em>And big girls don't cry<em>  
><em>Don't cry<em>  
><em>Don't cry<em>  
><em>Don't cry<em>

_The path that I'm walking_  
><em>I must go alone<em>  
><em>I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown<em>  
><em>Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?<em>  
><em>And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay<em>

_Like the little school mate in the school yard_  
><em>We'll play jacks and uno cards<em>  
><em>I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine<em>  
><em>Yes you can hold my hand if you want to<em>  
><em>'Cause I want to hold yours too<em>  
><em>We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds<em>  
><em>But it's time for me to go home<em>  
><em>It's getting late, dark outside<em>  
><em>I need to be with myself and center, clarity<em>  
><em>Peace, Serenity<em>

_La Da Da Da Da Da_

I'd drilled it into my head that I was finally safe, that I could finally move on with my life, start fresh; and I was. I felt happy here, I was happy, I took care of my son, and Mia's daughter. I worked every once in a while, Jake, Mia, and I would go into town sometimes with the kids, and watch a movie, or out to eat.

Living here was healthy for me.

I e-mailed Lissa every week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday's. I wrote to her, I sent her pictures of Ivan, but I never mentioned going back home. I was homesick, but I needed to get my things straight before going back to L.A. where I would possibly have to face Dimitri.

I never talked to him again, he'd called once and it'd gone to voicemail, but he hadn't been able to get anything out, only a "I'm sorry." And I'd drilled it into my head to get over him, and honestly, I was.

I was free from him completely. I wasn't anywhere near him, I wasn't in a city that he was in, and I didn't have a baby that was his. I was moving on from him, and I felt better, but there were days when I stared at Ivan and I hoped it was his. There were days, like these, in the porch, where my mind would wander off to him. Or nights that would be filled with dreams of him.

It was happening less and less, and when it did it left an aching in my chest.

I'd thought about removing my tattoo, but whenever I looked at it in the mirror I knew why I was here, I knew what it symbolized and I couldn't bring myself to destroy it. Not yet. Besides there were days when I didn't even remember I had it.

I'd also e-mailed my parents a picture of Ivan after Ambrose got arrested, and I'd written them some sort of a letter. Surprisingly enough I got an answer. They'd said my son was beautiful, and they missed me. They wondered when I'd be going back, they knew they hadn't been as supporting, but they wanted me back... I didn't answer. They didn't know I was raped. And I wasn't going to tell them, either.

I was thinking less and less, very day about Ambrose and what he'd done to me. But I knew it was impossible to ever be able to forget about him, or to have a day where he wasn't in my mind at least once, because I had Ivan, but I was doing better. Much better. I wasn't a victim anymore.

And I was proud of myself. I wasn't crying anymore, I'd kept my promise. Not to mention, I didn't blame myself for Mason's and Ivan's death... as much.

_It's time to be a big girl now_  
><em>And big girls don't cry.<em>

* * *

><p>"Hmm, I think our kids should hook up."<p>

I placed the magazine on my lap, and looked up at Mia who was next to me. Jake, opposite of us, laughed. I placed my feet on the floor to stop the swing from going anymore. She looked at me.

"What?"

I looked at her, puzzled, the same way she was looking at me.

"You mean right now?" I asked.

She giggled and looked at where they were. They were in their own swings, sucking on their pacifiers, and drifting off to sleep. Mia's daughter, Annabelle, named after her dead grandmother was only four months, but she was a little thing, like her mother. I van was a bit bigger at 5 months, probably taking after Ambrose, who was tall. I bit my lip. I would never be able to get away from those eyes...

"Of course not! Can you imagine? They're babies, but I meant you know, in the future, though it couldn't hurt to drill it into their mind right now..." I rolled my eyes.

"That would be nice," I admitted. Growing up, Lissa and I had said our children would hook up... Of course after a few years I hadn't wanted any kids. But now I couldn't get enough of my son.

I rested my eyes, my mind drifting to Mason and Ivan... It'd already been a year since their death, and I hadn't gone to their cemetery. I felt guilty, when I realized I'd been busy with the whole Ambrose thing. His trial had been quick, and he'd been found guilty of my rape, added to Tasha's, and some other girl, Vikktoria, along with the second degree murder of Mason and Ivan. He was going to spend, at least 30 years in prison.

I looked over to Jake, and idea popping into my head. "What if we take a field trip?" I asked. This spiked the interest of Mia, who looked at us both.

"What kind?" he asked. Mia sat up straighter.

"Where?"

"Back to California," I said softly, looking over at Ivan, "To pay a visit to two men he was named after."

* * *

><p><em>The path that I'm walking<em>  
><em>I must go alone.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>So, I'm not sure if I'll be able to update tomorrow, cause i gotta do an essay, well finish it, and i get distracted -.- but if I get 20 reviews... (;<strong>


	17. Over You

**Sorry, i've been very tired and dealing with the stupid state exams -.- Just a filler...**

_**"Over You"**_

_Now that it's all said and done,_  
><em>I can't believe you were the one<em>  
><em>To build me up and tear me down,<em>  
><em>Like an old abandoned house.<em>  
><em>What you said when you left<em>  
><em>Just left me cold and out of breath.<em>  
><em>I fell too far, was in way too deep.<em>  
><em>Guess I let you get the best of me.<em>

_Well, I never saw it coming._  
><em>I should've started running<em>  
><em>A long, long time ago.<em>  
><em>And I never thought I'd doubt you,<em>  
><em>I'm better off without you<em>  
><em>More than you, more than you know.<em>  
><em>I'm slowly getting closure.<em>  
><em>I guess it's really over.<em>  
><em>I'm finally getting better.<em>  
><em>And now I'm picking up the pieces.<em>  
><em>I'm spending all of these years<em>  
><em>Putting my heart back together.<em>  
><em>'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,<em>  
><em>I got over you.<em>

_You took a hammer to these walls,_  
><em>Dragged the memories down the hall,<em>  
><em>Packed your bags and walked away.<em>  
><em>There was nothing I could say.<em>  
><em>And when you slammed the front door shut,<em>  
><em>A lot of others opened up,<em>  
><em>So did my eyes so I could see<em>  
><em>That you never were the best for me.<em>

_Well, I never saw it coming._  
><em>I should've started running<em>  
><em>A long, long time ago.<em>  
><em>And I never thought I'd doubt you,<em>  
><em>I'm better off without you<em>  
><em>More than you, more than you know.<em>  
><em>I'm slowly getting closure.<em>  
><em>I guess it's really over.<em>  
><em>I'm finally getting better.<em>  
><em>And now I'm picking up the pieces.<em>  
><em>I'm spending all of these years<em>  
><em>Putting my heart back together.<em>  
><em>'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,<em>  
><em>I got over you.<em>

_Well, I never saw it coming._  
><em>I should've started running<em>  
><em>A long, long time ago.<em>  
><em>And I never thought I'd doubt you,<em>  
><em>I'm better off without you<em>  
><em>More than you, more than you know.<em>

_Well, I never saw it coming._  
><em>I should've started running<em>  
><em>A long, long time ago.<em>  
><em>And I never thought I'd doubt you,<em>  
><em>I'm better off without you<em>  
><em>More than you, more than you know.<em>  
><em>I'm slowly getting closure.<em>  
><em>I guess it's really over.<em>  
><em>I'm finally getting better.<em>  
><em>And now I'm picking up the pieces.<em>  
><em>I'm spending all of these years<em>  
><em>Putting my heart back together.<em>  
><em>Well I'm putting my heart back together,<em>  
><em>'Cause I got over you.<em>  
><em>Well I got over you.<em>  
><em>I got over you.<em>  
><em>'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,<em>  
><em>I got over you<em>

I'd decided, or we'd decided that we would go to L.A in a month, that way we had a lot of time to prepare. I felt unsettled knowing I'd have to go back, but I wanted to see them... Nothing could go wrong.

I was content being here, far away from anything. I was healing, all of my wounds were slowly healing. I didn't forget... i just forgave. I wasn't about to hold grudges, and make my life even more miserable. Fuck that, I had forgiven everyone that had done me wrong, it didn't matter anymore. It is what made me who I am today, after all.

My son was a big part of my healing process. He was such a little thing, but he gave me the support and the craving to live. I wanted to see him grow up, I wanted to meet all his girlfriends, I wanted to be there for him, and take care of him like no one else would be able to. And I most certainly didn't want him to see me as a crazy person, who was suffering all the time.

I'd said it once, and I'll say it again: I'm not a victim.

Not anymore.

* * *

><p>"He's cute," Mia motioned to the guy checking us out... He was the cashier.<p>

"Hmm?" I said looking up from a sleeping Ivan in my arms. She pointed to him. He was handsome, luckily he wasn't looking at us, but at the diapers, and baby wipies.

"Oh. Yeah." I frowned as I looked at him. He seemed oddly familiar...

"Jesse?" the word left my mouth before I could stop it. He looked up, and I was met with a pair of blue eyes.

"Rose?" he asked startled. I grinned. Jesse was my first boyfriend from high school, only he was a jerk at the time. But then at graduation he'd apologized. And of course I'd forgiven him.

"You work here?" I inquired, surprised. He laughed. He scratched the back of his head, a nervous habit of his.

"Yeah... My dad kicked me out, so i took a field trip. I didn't know you were here..."

"Only a few months now. I moved here with Mia," I said, pointing to Mia. He nodded and looked at Ivan. He raised an eyebrow, and looked up at me again. I smiled at him.

"Mine, " I whispered softly, running a hand through his dark hair. Jesse didn't say anything for a while, and continued checking us out.

"Congrats."

I nodded, not really able to say anything. As I was leaving with Mia, who carried all the bags, his hand stopped me. It was warm, and soft, the only indication that he wasn't much of a worker. I looked up to his blazing blue eyes. Unlike Christian's and Tasha's eyes, Jesse's were the color of the sky... Just like Ivan's. It was the Zeklos trait that both cousins had shared, before Ivan died.

"We should catch up," he said nervously,"as friends, of course." I laughed and nodded.

"Alright, how about tonight, at Alberta's diner. Say..."

"Eight?" I nodded, and he let go of my arm.

Mia and I walked out to the car. As we got in, Mia spoke.

"What about Dimitri?" It was a small whisper, that barely reached my ear. I bit my lip.

"Who?"

As I turned around, I saw her grinning, nodding her head in approval. Despite myself, I grinned too. I leaned my head against the cool window, taking comfort in the coolness.

I was better off with him, I had trusted him, and I had never ever seen it coming, not his painful betrayal, not him leaving me... Not him being the cause of all my problems.

And if I was going to move on with my life, and start off new, that meant he had to be forgotten. Now, he was only a scar, a painful reminder of what happens when you let your guard down completely.

_"I'm slowly getting closure._  
><em>I guess it's really over.<em>  
><em>I'm finally getting better.<em>  
><em>And now I'm picking up the pieces."<em>

I took pleasure in the lyrics of the song that come on. I didn't know who sung it, but I didn't care. The last part came on, and the song faded, and I felt better with myself.

__I got over you__


	18. Apologize: Too late

**Last week I was busy with volunteer work, so I couldn't update as much, but I'm free of that, hopefully, so I'll have more time, but I'm going to try and focus on High school more than on this... Sorry. Just be patient.**

**And no this isn't a RosexJesse... And this chapter is a bit different ;)**

**Review!**

* * *

><p><em>"Apologize"-One Republic.<em>

_I'm holdin' on your rope,_  
><em>Got me ten feet off the ground.<em>  
><em>And I'm hearin' what you say,<em>  
><em>But I just can't make a sound.<em>  
><em>You tell me that you need me,<em>  
><em>Then you go and cut me down...<em>  
><em>But wait...<em>  
><em>You tell me that you're sorry,<em>  
><em>Didn't think I'd turn around...<em>  
><em>And say...<em>

_That it's too late to apologize._  
><em>It's too late...<em>  
><em>I said it's too late to apologize.<em>  
><em>It's too late.<em>  
><em>Yeah!<em>

_I'd take another chance,_  
><em>Take a fall, take a shot for you.<em>  
><em>I need you like a heart needs a beat,<em>  
><em>But it's nothin' new, yeah!<em>  
><em>I loved you with a fire red,<em>  
><em>Now it's turnin' blue...<em>  
><em>And you say...<em>  
><em>Sorry, like an angel<em>  
><em>Heaven let me think was you...<em>  
><em>But I'm afraid...<em>

_It's too late to apologize._  
><em>It's too late.<em>  
><em>I said it's too late to apologize.<em>  
><em>It's too late.<em>  
><em>Whoa!<em>

_It's too late to apologize._  
><em>It's too late.<em>  
><em>I said it's too late to apologize.<em>  
><em>It's too late.<em>

_I said it's too late to apologize, yeah!_  
><em>I said it's too late to apologize, yeah!<em>  
><em>I'm holdin' on your rope,<em>  
><em>Got me ten feet off the ground.<em>

**Tasha.**

I missed her...Everybody did. But we all coped with it the best way we could. We all did in different ways. For example, I would stare at a picture of her and imagine what it would be like if she was here.

Lissa would read and read her e-mails.

Christian would sit in the couch and banter with a picture of her. To others it would seem crazy, but not to us. We knew he was just missing her, and trying to cope with it.

Eddie would go into her old room, and just... stare at it.

And Dimitri...

Dimitri would spend days in her room, sometimes we could hear him reading the letter she left him, or just randomly talking to her. He did a mixture of what we all did.

We knew she was okay, we often talked to her on the phone, but we just didn't know where she was.

Lissa wanted to search for her, she wanted to go to the ends of the world to find her best friend... I did too. But I understood Rose better than anyone else. I understood her pain, because I had gone through it. I understood what it was like to be... raped. And by the same man. A man who was now in jail.

A while ago, Rose sent us a picture of Ivan, with his eyes wide open, staring at us with those eyes... His same eyes. I couldn't begin to imagine what it was like to have a kid that reminded you so much of the person who had hurt you.

But Rose was strong, she just needed time on her own. She needed to find herself again, she needed to be away from all of us.

Especially Dimitri.

He was a mess. I think it finally hit him just how much he truly loved her. But it was too late.

Hell it was too late for a lot of things. Too late to fix what Dimitri did to Ambrose. Too late to stop what he did to me. Too late to stop what he did to Viktoria, Dimitri's younger sister. Too late for Dimitri to fall in love with Rose. Too late to save her. Too late to save Mason. Too late to save Ivan. Too late to stop Dimitri from committing the worst mistake of his life, which was to walk out of Rose's life... Too late to stop her from leaving. Too late to apologize.

Too late...

Always too late.

_That it's too late to apologize._  
><em>It's too late...<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Ambrose. <strong>

I sit here, cornered in this thing, that can barely be called a bed. I close my eyes and imagine her with me, laughing at my stupid jokes, making her witty remarks, her sarcasm, her smile... her voice.

And I have to open my eyes to the reality that is my life. The reality that I created for myself, and for what? For Avery Lazar.

I wanted to apologize, nit just to Rose, but to Tasha, to Vikktoria, to Ivan, to the boy named Mason.

But it was too late.

Like always.

Too late to stop Avery and Dimitri. Too late to save Tasha. Too late to save Vikktoria. Too late to save Rose, Mason, Ivan... Too late to stop Dimitri from loving her, and then walking away from her. Too late for me to have to find her. Too late for me to fall for her.

Too late to stop all my mistakes, too late to stop the past.

Too late for apologies.

Always too late.

Just a little too late.

_Sorry, like an angel_  
><em>Heaven let me think was you...<em>  
><em>But I'm afraid...<em>

_It's too late to apologize._

* * *

><p><strong>Dimitri. <strong>

I miss her. I have this aching hole in my chest, in my heart. I want to run after her, I want to beg her to come back, and forgive me. But I also know this is something she must do on her own. She has to heal.

I want her to forgive me.

But as I sit her, and listen to this music, as I stare at a picture of her laughing as I take the picture, as I read this damn letter, I feel like its too late.

And I know it is.

It's too late to stop me from believing all of Avery's lies. Too late to protect Tasha. Too late to save my baby sister, Vikktoria. Too late to stop myself from loving Rose, and being her ultimate doom. Too late to save my best friend Ivan from the flames of the hell I built, too late to save young Mason's life. Too late to stop me from leaving Rose that day. Too late to stop her from leaving. To stop all her pain...

Always too late.

Just a little too late.

Too late for apologies.

_I'd take another chance,_  
><em>Take a fall, take a shot for you.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Rose.<strong>

As I sit in front of my vanity mirror, and I stare at myself, getting ready to go meet up with Jesse, I stare at myself. I feel better about myself, but I still have the wound...

I close my eyes, my mind drifting to Dimitri and Ambrose.

It was too late.

A tear rolled down my cheek, the only one.

It was a little too late.

Too late to stop all of this form beginning. Too late to stop me from meeting Dimitri, from falling in love. Too late to save Mason and Ivan, from the fire... Too late to stop Ambrose. Too late to stop Dimitri that day. Too late to meet him again, months later...

God, it was too late for many things... So many things that were just... so heavy in my shoulders.

Too late...

But never too late to forgive.

_I loved you with a fire red,_  
><em>Now it's turnin' blue...<em>


	19. I Miss You

**Sorry! Busy with school :/**

**Anyways here it is (: And can you go check out my other story 'The Sun and the Moon' won't regret it!**

_**"I miss you"- Blink 182  
><strong>Hello there the angel from my nightmare_  
><em>The shadow in the background of the morgue<em>  
><em>The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley<em>  
><em>We can live like Jack and Sally if we want<em>  
><em>Where you can always find me<em>  
><em>And we'll have Halloween on Christmas<em>  
><em>And in the night we'll wish this never ends<em>  
><em>We'll wish this never ends<em>

_(I miss you I miss you)_  
><em>(I miss you I miss you)<em>

_Where are you and I'm so sorry_  
><em>I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight<em>  
><em>I need somebody and always<em>  
><em>This sick strange darkness<em>  
><em>Comes creeping on so haunting every time<em>  
><em>And as I stared I counted<em>  
><em>The Webs from all the spiders<em>  
><em>Catching things and eating their insides<em>  
><em>Like indecision to call you<em>  
><em>and hear your voice of treason<em>  
><em>Will you come home and stop the pain tonight<em>  
><em>Stop this pain tonight<em>

_Don't waste your time on me you're already_  
><em>The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)<em>  
><em>Don't waste your time on me you're already<em>  
><em>The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)<em>

_Don't waste your time on me you're already_  
><em>The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)<em>  
><em>Don't waste your time on me you're already<em>  
><em>The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)<em>  
><em>Don't waste your time on me you're already<em>  
><em>The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)<em>  
><em>Don't waste your time on me you're already<em>  
><em>The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)<em>

_I miss you (miss you miss you)_  
><em>(I miss you miss you)<em>

**Mia POV**

_Jesse's married. _Was constantly on my mind, it was a shame really. I was so distracted, I barely hear Rose as she spoke.

I stopped on my tracks.

"Please tell me I did not just hear that from you," I said, grabbing her elbow, and bringing us to a stop.

"Nope. Not me, my mouth."

I narrowed my eyes at her witty remarks. "Rose I'm serious." I wasn't going to let my best friend walk away. Especially after hearing she wants to go visit the man that raped her, and fathered her son. She was crazy. Crazy and stupid.

"You're crazy. And stupid. Crazy and stupid is never a good combination. Especially not on you."

She rolled her brown eyes at me. She lifted my manicured fingernails from her arm, an amused look on her face. I slapped her.

"Ow! Hey what the fuck!" I grinned, glad to see the amused look on her face gone from her beautiful face, which was now replaced by one of pain.

"Seriously what was that for?" she asked rubbing her cheek, shooting dirty looks at me. I dragged her along with me.

"You're stupid. That idea is crazy. You're crazy. And I'm not letting you." This time she brought us to a stop.

"Look Mia, I get where you're coming from-"

I interrupted her, "Do you really? Then why-"

"Will you let me fini-"

"Mayb-"

"Mia," she threatened. I sighed, and let her continue.

"I get where you're coming from BUT, I also know I need to move on, and to move on, I need to speak to him... as my rapist. I need to give him peace, and myself too."

I didn't say anything. Give him peace? I shook my head, and she seemed to understand my bewilderment.

"Peace for him, because I know he's truly sorry... Not to mention he is Ivan's father."

"When did you get so smart?" I asked her, smiling. A grin spread across her lips.

"Oh you know..."

I smacked her in the head, she groaned again. She slapped my arm, and took off.

I laughed as I chased her back home.

So maybe the girl was a little crazy...

I rolled my eyes, she was something else, that's for sure.

* * *

><p><strong>DPOV<strong>

Its been a while now, and it's getting easier. I have times, especially at night, when I'm alone, that I cry for her, for us, for everything I lost. And everything I gained.

I know it was my fault, if only I hadn't listened to Avery, and her lies. I was stupid, still am, according to Tasha. Tasha who has stuck with me despite everything.

I park my red corvette behind a blue BMW, I stop the car, and take my keys out the ignition. I get out of the car, closing the door softly, and walking up the stairs. I skip over the brick stairs, reaching a fancy lobby, with doors around.

I nod my head at the old woman, and walk over to the door.

I reach over, and knock on the door. A very chirpy Tasha opens, I raise an eyebrow. She shrugs and leads me inside her apartment. Adrian, Lissa, Christian, and Eddie are already there.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey," they answer together.

We all stand there in an awkward silence, until I decide to speak up.

"We missed Ivan's and Mason's death's anniversary, I think we should go," I say. It's been in my head for a while. We hadn't had time, since we found out Ambrose was in jail now. We didn't know how, and I just prayed Rose had nothing to do with it. But she'd never mentioned him.

Eddie was the first to agree, "It's been nagging at me, man. The guilt just eats me up at night."

"Are you sure that's the only thing keeping you up at night?" Christian mutters, shaking his head. Adrian coughs to hide his laughter, while Eddie turns a crimson red. Lissa makes a face, and Tasha bites her lip from saying anything.

Eddie had been recently _seeing _Jill Dragomir, Lissa's half sister. And now, he was the center of our jokes. Mostly Christian' I had to stop myself from laughing.

"C'mon man, I don't say anything about your nights full of screaming," it's Christian's turn to turn red. Lissa comes to Christians and her own defense.

"Hey, we were talking about Mason and Ivan."

I shake my head at Eddie and Christian,"So do we all agree?"

"Ditto," Tasha perked up. Lissa claps her hands, Eddie grins, and Christian leans back.

"Yay! Field trip..."

We all laugh at Christian's sour expression. And the somber feeling falls over me again. If Rose was here, she;d be a lot more excited than all of us put together. And she'd make fun of Christian...

Oh Roza... I miss you.

_Like indecision to call you_  
><em>and hear your voice of treason<em>  
><em>Will you come home and stop the pain tonight<em>  
><em>Stop this pain tonight<em>


	20. Not Over You

**This is the chapter that you have been waiting for :D lol I dragged it out didn't I? ^.^ Anyways, just wanted to say thank you for your reviews and that, sadly, this upcoming chapters I will be wrapping this story out... Yay! Anyways, again, can you check out my other, new story? It's called The Sun and the Moon. It's different, I promise. Review and make me one happy girl (:**

_"Not Over You"- Gavin Degraw**  
><strong>_

_Dreams, that's where I have to go_  
><em>To see your beautiful face anymore<em>  
><em>I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio<em>  
><em>Hope, hope there's a conversation<em>  
><em>We both admit we had it good<em>  
><em>But until then it's alienation, I know<em>  
><em>That much is understood<em>  
><em>And I realize<em>

_If you ask me how I'm doing_  
><em>I would say I'm doing just fine<em>  
><em>I would lie and say that you're not on my mind<em>  
><em>But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two<em>  
><em>And finally I'm forced to face the truth,<em>  
><em>No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you<em>

_Damn, damn girl, you do it well_  
><em>And I thought you were innocent<em>  
><em>Took this heart and put it through hell<em>  
><em>But still you're magnificent<em>  
><em>I, I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me<em>  
><em>I turn around and I'm back in the game<em>  
><em>Even better than the old me<em>  
><em>But I'm not even close without you<em>

_If you ask me how I'm doing_  
><em>I would say I'm doing just fine<em>  
><em>I would lie and say that you're not on my mind<em>  
><em>But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two<em>  
><em>And finally I'm forced to face the truth,<em>  
><em>No matter what I say I'm not over you<em>

_And if I had the chance to renew_  
><em>You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do<em>  
><em>I could get back on the right track<em>  
><em>But only if you'd be convinced<em>  
><em>So until then...<em>

_If you ask me how I'm doing_  
><em>I would say I'm doing just fine<em>  
><em>I would lie and say that you're not on my mind<em>  
><em>But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two<em>  
><em>And finally I'm forced to face the truth,<em>  
><em>No matter what I say I'm not over you<em>  
><em>Not over you<em>  
><em>Not over you<em>  
><em>Not over you<em>

**DPOV **

After our little meeting, we all went back home, and we started packing. I was done the same day, but Tasha and Lissa took longer. The guys and I rented a van, and we packed it with snacks, and drinks. We put them in the middle, so they would be more accessible. Once the girls were done with their few bags, we put them in the very back.

We left on a Friday, so we could be there early Saturday.

We all felt excited, even Christian, though he wouldn't admit it.

It was dark at night, I was driving, and I thought everyone else was asleep. From the seat behind me, Lissa spoke up. At first I thought she was bumbling.

"Why did you believe Avery? Why are you even with her?"

I waited a few minutes to answer. Not really knowing how to answer this. To say it was complicated was an understatement. It's been complicated for the past few years, since we began college.

"When I first met her, we had sex, but then her and Ambrose became involved, and I found myself dating Tasha. I learned to care for Tasha in a whole new level. But, after a a year things changed, Avery came onto me again. She said Ambrose was cheating on her. Of course, I didn't believe her. Not until she showed me the pictures of Ambrose with an old high school friend, holding hands. it angered me, and out of anger I slept with her. Everything was a lie. It still is."

I looked at her from the rear-view mirror. That wasn't the actual answer she was looking for. I sighed.

"She got pregnant."

Lissa gasped, "When?"

"Two months after Rose."

"You slept with Avery two months after you broke up with her. Great."

"Look, I'm not the best man out there, but I was angry at myself. I was angry at Avery. I was angry at Ambrose... And angry at Ivan."

"What happened?"

"I'm still somewhat honorable, you know, so I told her I'd be with her, but only because of the baby. She had a miscarriage, when she found out who Rose was."

Lissa leaned back on her seat, and looked at me through the rear view mirror. Her green eyes sparkled in the night. She pursed her lips, and looked out the window.

I knew that the only reason she kept me around was because of Tasha.

"I like you Dimitri. You've shown your a good man, despite it all. But, it's not me who needs convincing."

"I know," I said quietly.

She leaned her head against the window, and closed her eyes. "Goodnight Dimitri."

"'Night Lissa."

I really had some making up to do. But first I had to find Rose.

* * *

><p>Once we'd arrived, we got hotel rooms. As we sat in the lobby, a blonde, young woman, arrived with two babies at hand, and an old man.I, personally had a fascination with babies. We slept for a while before we got up again.<p>

We took a shower, got ready, and ate breakfast before we headed out to the cemetery. It was kinda chilly, and windy, when we arrived.

The cemetery was only 20 minutes away, and we got there pretty quickly. Silently, we walked to Ivan's and Mason's grave site, they were put next to each other.

We all came to an abrupt stop, 9 feet away from the graves. There was three adults, and two babies. It was the people from the lobby last night, except there was an extra person.

She was facing Mason's grave, her hair whipping back, and there were fresh tears on her rosy cheeks. She had very long hair, so dark it looked black, but I knew otherwise. I'd felt that hair in my hands, I'd run my hands through it.

My hand went to the key chain in my chest, that went all the way back to my shoulder blade.

I saw her body stiffen.

"Roza..."

* * *

><p><strong>RPOV <strong>

The room felt oddly cold, and I hugged Ivan close to my body. I looked around, glad I wasn't the only one here. But I was the only one with a baby. A man stood behind me, to keep me safe. It was very loud, filled with screams of joy, and tears.

"I didn't expect to see you here."

I jumped at the voice, and turned to look in front of me. He was dressed in all orange, he had hair stub in his face. He hadn't shaved in a few days. His amber eyes looked at me expectantly, then down at Ivan. I saw the amazement in them, and the pride. I swallowed and took one deep breath.

"Me either, but I need to make peace."

He looked up at me again, his eyes glazed with unshed tears. He bowed down, and his body started shaking with sobs. I wanted toreach over, but I was too afraid.

"I'm so sorry rose, truly am. You have no idea what it's like in here. I'm paying for all my mistakes in more than one way. I hope you can forgive me. The same for Dimitri, Tasha, and Viktoria. Along with the two that I- that I killed."

I felt bad for him, I can only imagine what they'd done to him once they found out he'd raped three girls, and killed two men. I wiped away the tears that had fallen.

"This is my son-your son. Ivan Mason."

He reached out, afraid I would't give him the chance to carry his own son. But I did. He took him in, and spent a few minutes playing with him. I smiled, and I laughed along with him.

"How are you and Dimitri?" he asked, not looking at me. I sighed.

"We're not together. Never will be." This time he did look at me, a confused look on his face.

"And why not?"

"Because I'm over him."

He laughed. He pushed Ivan closer to him, and laughed his ass off. I rolled my eyes.

"What's so funny?" I asked frustrated.

"That I know you. And I know you're lying. You may be able to lie to yourself, but not to me."

I didn't say anything for a while. "You're no one to tell me that Ambrose." He looked at me sadly, and nodded his head.

"I know. I'm sorry."

I looked down at my watch.

"This went smoother than I thought. Look, I just wanted you to meet Ivan, and know I'll send you pictures of him, and bring him when I can, but I really don't my son to see you here."

"Me neither."

"And... To forgive you. It's harder than I thought, but you gave me the biggest gift of them all. But you also took away from me. I decided it's healthier for me and Ivan if I forgave you. From the bottom of my heart, Ambrose I forgive you."

I let out a breath, tears escaping out from my eyes. Oh god, it hurt so bad. More than I ever thought possible. He put his hand over mine, his was cold, and at first I felt disgust and fear, but then I understood. Ambrose was a very misunderstood man. In his own mind, he felt he was doing the right thing, to avenge what he had lost.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could take it away."

But he couldn't, so instead he gave me Ivan back. "I'm also sorry I left with more to remember me from."

I shook my head. "Thank you."

"Thank you Rose. You're amazing, for forgiving me like this, when I don't deserve it. When I don't deserve any of this."

I chuckled, "Probably not, but we all deserve forgiveness."

He nodded, "Like Dimitri does."

I didn't say anything, when the man behind me said it was time to go.

"I don't know when I'll come back, but at least we have peace now. I loved you Ambrose, I did, but well, things happen. I can forgive, but I will not forget."

He reached out to me, but I took a few steps back. He let his hand drop. And I could see the sadness in his eyes.

"Tell him, how much I love him, and how much I loved you. Tell him I regret everything..."

"Okay," I said softly. I turned around and walked out.

"I hope you grow up in a better world than me Ivan."

I didn't get an answer from him, all I got was a smile, and saliva on my shirt. I sighed.

"That's all I'm going to get, aren't I? Oh well."

He hit me in the face, making me laugh.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>We had to rent a van on Thursday morning. We'd already packed Wednesday, and we were ready to go. We'd bought snacks, and drinks for the long drive, and we'd agreed I'd drive first, then Jake, and lastly Mia. Jake went on the back to watch over the kids.<p>

We left Thursday afternoon, so we could get there by Saturday morning.

The drive was long, but we made the best of it, laughing, and making jokes. When we arrived, we checked in into a hotel. I had to use the bathroom, so I left them in the lobby. Once I was done, we went to take a quick nap.

When we woke up, we got ready, and we left for the cemetery that was 20 minutes away from the hotel.

We walked up to their graves. Mason and Ivan had been put next to each other, and I felt something heavy in my heart.

Jake and Mia stood 4 feet behind me with the kids. They gave me enough space to talk to them quietly.

"Hey..." I started.

I pursed my lips together, and I felt cold tears on my cheeks. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it before, but I was busy with Ambrose. He was the one who raped me, and set the house on fire. I'm sorry."

The tears fell freely, and soon I felt myself sobbing quietly.

"Oh God, I miss you. And I love you guys so much. I named my son after you guys, it only seemed fair."

I felt a few pair of eyes on me. And the wind carried to me a very strong, smell. It was a smell I'd often woken up to. I stiffened, and looked at my lap. It couldn't be...

"Roza..."

The wind carried to me his voice. Slowly, I looked up. I felt numb, as I looked at him. He hadn't changed... And I felt longing. So much longing. And need. And I knew Ambrose was right. I wasn't over him. Not by a long shot.

I knew I'd have to see him one day, and I thought that if they asked me, I was over him. I'd forced it into my brain that I was over him, but I was lying to myself all long.

How could I ever be over the man that had taught me to love? The man who'd been my strength. The man that was my soul mate. Right, I couldn't.

And the truth felt like a punch to the gut.

_And finally I'm forced to face the truth,_  
><em>No matter what I say I'm not over you<em>


	21. No Air

**Yay, I'm back, and well the story is coming to an end, pretty shortly... Well more like this is the last chapter. No more after this.I have a feeling you won't be too happy about it... **

**Clarification: Avery and Dimitri are no longer together. She had been pregnant, but had a miscarriage upon discovering who Rose was. She's out of his life... Like for real. And hey, everyone makes mistakes... I always make Dimitri look like the bad man ._. Ugh. **

_"No Air"  
>(feat. Chris Brown)<em>

_[Jordin]_  
><em>Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air<em>

_If I should die before I wake_  
><em>It's 'cause you took my breath away<em>  
><em>Losing you is like living in a world with no air<em>  
><em>Oh<em>

_[Chris Brown]_  
><em>I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave<em>  
><em>My heart won't move, it's incomplete<em>  
><em>Wish there was a way that I can make you understand<em>

_[Jordin]_  
><em>But how do you expect me<em>  
><em>to live alone with just me<em>  
><em>'Cause my world revolves around you<em>  
><em>It's so hard for me to breathe<em>

_[Chorus:]_  
><em>Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air<em>  
><em>Can't live, can't breathe with no air<em>  
><em>It's how I feel whenever you ain't there<em>  
><em>It's no air, no air<em>  
><em>Got me out here in the water so deep<em>  
><em>Tell me how you gonna be without me<em>  
><em>If you ain't here, I just can't breathe<em>  
><em>It's no air, no air<em>

_No air, air_  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No air, air<em>

_[Chris Brown]_  
><em>I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew<em>  
><em>Right off the ground to float to you<em>  
><em>There's no gravity to hold me down for real<em>

_[Jordin]_  
><em>But somehow I'm still alive inside<em>  
><em>You took my breath, but I survived<em>  
><em>I don't know how, but I don't even care<em>

_[Both:]_  
><em>So how do you expect me<em>  
><em>to live alone with just me<em>  
><em>'Cause my world revolves around you<em>  
><em>It's so hard for me to breathe<em>

_[Chorus]_

_No air, air_  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No more<em>  
><em>It's no air, no air<em>

_[Chorus]_

_No air, air_  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No air, air<em>

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air_  
><em>Can't live, can't breathe with no air<em>  
><em>It's how I feel whenever you ain't there<em>  
><em>It's no air, no air<em>

_Got me out here in the water so deep_  
><em>Tell me how you gonna be without me<em>  
><em>If you ain't here, I just can't breathe<em>  
><em>It's no air, no air<em>

_No air, air_  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No air, air<em>  
><em>No air<em>

**3rd POV **

There was a moment of absolute silence. Even the wind stopped. It felt like it had been years since they'd seen each other, they didn't know what to do.

Everyone stood around, most importantly, focusing on their reaction. Mia couldn't stop looking between them. Call her crazy, but it was almost as if she could see the love between them. Not to mention, he was completely hot.

Rose felt something on her, and it wasn't until then that she realized Ivan was on her lap. Mia looked down confused, and chased down her daughter. She'd been too busy looking at Dimitri and Rose, the kids had gotten away, with Jake looking confused too.

Rose picked Ivan up, and herself too.

"Hi," she said awkwardly.

"Hi," he answered.

She looked down at the ground, and smiled. When she looked back up, Dimitri was smiling at her too.

Rose stepped a little to his right, and looked sheepishly at her friends. Lissa didn't wait one more minute and ran into her friends arms. Even though she looked small, Lissa made her stumble.

"Please don't ever do this to me."

"I probably won't ever again.. breathe that is. You're killing me," Rose managed to breathe out. Lissa pulled away reluctantly, and was pushed away by Tasha.

She stood in front of Rose, hands placed on her hips. "Young lady, you scared me half to death. Next time you plan on running a way please take me with you." Then she pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

Once everyone had said what they had to say, Rose stepped away from them. And looked back at Mia and Jake. Simultaneously, the gang looked at them too.

"Guys this is Mia, her daughter, her father... and my son."

"Hi, nice to meet you," the gang replied. Mia and Jake smiled, "Pleasure is ours."

After a few more moments, all of the ones present looked down at the graves in front of them. They huddled together, Ivan in Dimitri's arms, charming the rest of the gang.

They stayed there for a few more minutes, before they all walked away towards their cars. They stopped a few feet away, the gang looked at the five of them.

"So, what now?" Eddie asked.

Rose looked back at Mia and Jake. They shrugged, it was up to her now, where her life was going.

"Now... Now we go back home. We talk. And we'll see from there." She smiled at her friends, at her family.

"Great! Seriously, it's going to be great to have you back Rosie," Christian grinned at her. Rose rolled her eyes.

"Wish I could say the same for you bud," she replied. Christian laughed, and got inside the car. Eddie hugged her, "See you later."

"See ya bia," Tasha hugged her. As she walked away she managed to slap Rose's ass.

"I told you to ask before you grab!" Tasha walked away laughing, and got into the car.

"Aah!" Lissa threw herself at her again. They didn't need to say anything, just being there said it all. Lissa, too got in the car.

Now it was just Dimitri. Rose looked back to see Mia, Jake, and the kids were inside the car already.

Dimitri stepped closer to her. "What now? With us I mean." She took in a deep breath.

"We have the rest of our lives to figure it out. We have to talk about everything and just be honest. When we get home that is."

"We'll work this out?" he asked her. She stood on her tippy toes, and placed a kiss on his cheek, taking in the scent of his after shave. She placed her feet back on the ground, and smiled up at him. In return, he bent down to kiss her forehead, his lips lingering on her skin, as she answered.

"We'll work this out."

_I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew_  
><em>Right off the ground to float to you<em>  
><em>There's no gravity to hold me down for real.<em>

**There will be a sequel, centered on their lives after this. More issues will be presented, the main one being their inability to reproduce together, as long as new characters, (Rose's family).**

**I won't work on it until I'm done with some of my other stories though... Stay tuned (:**

**Thank you to all the reviewers. You made this possible, you kept me going, I love you, and thanks again.**


End file.
